


Instead

by BeautifulUnseen



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Friends to Lovers, M/M, college!klaine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-02-27 23:16:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 31,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13258659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeautifulUnseen/pseuds/BeautifulUnseen
Summary: Kurt and Blaine are paired as roommates their first year in college. Told in four parts, this is their story of undying friendship, bitter heartbreak and, ultimately, unconditional love. Follow them freshman through senior year on their road to self-discovery, and their road to each other — including all the twists and turns along the way.





	1. Freshman Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again everyone and welcome to my new story! This one only has 4 parts, but they’re long, for my standards. It totals approximately 30k words. I plan to update weekly through the month of January.  
> This story was inspired by a song, as usual, and the title is taken from Blake McGrath’s “Instead,” but don’t go listen to it just yet unless you want later chapters spoiled. I’ll tell you when. ;) I don’t own the song, nor do I own Glee or its characters or plots.  
> Also, it takes a freaking village to write a fic, apparently. Special thanks to GleefulDarrenCrissFan and BeautifullyBroken23 for helping me out when I needed it!  
> And last, but not least, thank you to the fabulous Loverstar for the artwork!  
> I hope you enjoy this little guy as much as I’ve enjoyed writing him. Much love.

 

If there was one thing Kurt Hummel hated, it was sharing a living space with another human being. He was very particular about the pristine condition of his belongings and was not looking forward to living with some (presumably) bumbling idiot who would probably ruin everything Kurt had worked so hard to set up by being a complete slob or by disregarding boundaries. Kurt loved boundaries, and hated people who crossed them.

He had spent all of his first day in New York meticulously arranging his tiny box of a dorm room just the way he liked, and thought he might actually combust if his new roommate were to walk in and destroy it all.

The piece of paper stating his roommate's name — _Blaine Anderson_ — sat in his hand like it had so many times that summer, giving only the smallest clue as to who Kurt would have to endure living with for a whole year. Blaine sounded like a pretentious name, and Kurt had already crafted a detailed backstory for him in his head.

He imagined Blaine was a pompous private school boy who came from old money. His wardrobe consisted of primarily cardigans, boat shoes, and monogrammed handkerchiefs, and though he acted well put together, he would spend most nights getting plastered at frat parties (only the most ostentatious ones, of course) and having raucous sex with his girlfriend, whom he had been dating since he was thirteen and was arranged to marry because he was very, very straight.

Disrupting his thoughts, a key turned in the door and the person Kurt would be sharing his teensy dorm with all year walked through. Kurt was predisposed to dislike him based solely on the fact that they would be forced to live basically on top of each other until May, but all preconceived notions of Blaine flew out the window when they locked eyes for the first time.

Blaine's whole face lit up upon spotting his new roommate. "Hi!"

Kurt struggled to find his voice. "H-hi."

A loud clunk made both of them jump, and Blaine turned away from Kurt's stare toward the source of the sound. "Dad! Please be careful with that! I've told you a hundred times that my original cast soundtrack collection is in there! And Mama, you can put my bow ties over by the closet."

Kurt smiled and settled back in his desk chair, watching Blaine direct his parents as all previous qualms about Blaine, and having a roommate in general, flew out the window. He and this unfairly cute boy were going to get along just fine.

Blaine turned back to him after making sure his boxes were being treated properly and stuck out his hand for Kurt to shake. "I'm sorry I was distracted from introducing myself. My name is Blaine Anderson. It's very nice to meet you." He looked around the room, nodding in approval. "I must say your decor choices are simply inspired."

Kurt blushed profusely and scrambled forward to take the proffered hand. "Kurt Hummel. Thank you so much. I was afraid I'd be rooming with someone who couldn't appreciate my eye for style."

"Well that's—" Blaine was cut off by his mother scolding him for leaving her and Blaine's dad to do all of the manual labor of moving his things. Blaine smiled apologetically at Kurt. "Better get back to work."

"Let me help?" Getting sweaty by lifting someone else's boxes and carrying them up two flights of stairs was not something Kurt ever thought he'd volunteer for, but with how enamored he was with Blaine, he probably would have burned his boot collection if he thought it would make Blaine like him.

As it turned out, real life Blaine was so different from what Kurt's imagination had concocted — aside from the private school and the cardigans, that was. There was not a pretentious bone in Blaine's body, and Kurt was fairly certain he did _not_ have a girlfriend.

After only ten minutes of knowing Blaine, Kurt had to fight off the urge to fall to one knee, begging his new roommate to marry him. He was crushing hard on this traditionally handsome boy who complimented his style and was so, so _nice_. He held himself in check, though. Kurt wanted to make a good impression on his new roommate, for one, but he was also painfully aware that Blaine was the first gay man he had met, aside from closeted Karofsky. He had an inkling that his draw toward Blaine was more than that, but he wanted to be absolutely sure. So he vowed to ignore his attraction to Blaine until he had at least met more gay people, at which point he could determine whether or not his crush was simply because another gay man was cute (unbearably so), and sweet to him (chivalry was _not_ dead!).

"Your scarf collection is extensive," Blaine commented later that afternoon while struggling to find space to hang his clothes in the shared closet.

Kurt blushed from where he was reclined on his bed. "Yeah, I'm sorry I took up so much space in there. I figured I'd be rooming with some disgusting straight boy who shoved all of his clothes in a drawer or left them all over the floor like some kind of heathen. I'll try to figure out another storage solution."

"No need," Blaine shook his head that had finally emerged from the closet. Kurt stopped himself from making the obvious joke. "I was able to fit everything in. I'm not going to throw my clothes on the floor, so you don't have to worry about that. And I'm definitely not straight."

"You don't say," Kurt drawled, though he was internally flailing with excitement at the confirmation. "I remember how you introduced yourself to me. ' _Your decor choices are simply inspired_ ,'" Kurt mocked lightly.

Blaine laughed at himself, stowing the last of his boxes under Kurt's lower bunk. "It's just so nice to be able to really be myself and not have to worry about what anyone in small town Ohio thinks of me. You know what I mean?"

Kurt shook his head, unable to believe his luck at being paired with someone like Blaine for a roommate. "Yes, actually. I know _exactly_ what you mean."

They spent a moment lost in their own thoughts, but it was a surprisingly comfortable silence. Kurt realized he was watching Blaine's face and blinked hard to rid himself of the cartoon hearts that were undoubtedly floating above his head.

"I saw a flyer for a 'getting to know you' event for our dorm tonight. Want to go? I think it's starting in a few minutes," Blaine suggested.

Kurt wrinkled his nose. "That's not really my thing."

"Me either. But we can people watch and judge them on their outfits and place bets on which ones will hook up and how soon."

At that, Kurt was convinced that he and Blaine were made to be friends. "Sounds perfect." In an effort to be himself, Kurt did something he would only normally do to his girlfriends back home, and held out an arm, which Blaine took in an instant, linking elbows with him.

The college years might be a journey to self-discovery for most people, but eight hours in and Kurt felt like he was already coming into his own.

 

* * *

 

For the first week they lived together, Blaine and Kurt stayed up late every night talking as they lay in bed. It was easy to tell secrets to the darkness, so they both told each other everything — even things they had never told anybody else.

It became immediately and abundantly clear that Kurt could trust Blaine with anything, and vice versa. There were still moments of doubt in the early days, though, like the day Kurt came home early and caught Blaine in the middle of doing something on his computer that he had never intended for Kurt to see.

Kurt came into their room after one of his classes had been canceled to find Blaine with his back to the door, staring intently at his laptop with earbuds firmly in place, effectively blocking out the sounds of Kurt's approaching footsteps.

Kurt smirked as he realized what Blaine was looking at. He came up right behind Blaine and tapped him on the shoulder, frightening the other man, who slammed his laptop shut and turned to look at Kurt, flushing immediately.

"You're home early," Blaine said, trying to seem nonchalant. He moved to rest his elbow atop his laptop, but it slid out from under him and Blaine stumbled. Kurt only grinned as Blaine grew more flustered. "Shit. You saw, didn't you?"

"Oh yeah I did."

Blaine kept his gaze aimed firmly at his hands in his lap as he fumbled over words. "It's not—it wasn't—I was just—"

"...Trying to find out 'which Hollywood hunk you should kiss under the mistletoe?'" Kurt supplied.

Blaine blushed scarlet and mumbled something nearly unintelligible about online quizzes being his guilty pleasure. "Please don't judge me," he begged.

Kurt continued to grin at him, unable to wipe the smile off his face.

"Please?" There was legitimate fear of rejection written on Blaine's face, which Kurt felt the need to quash immediately. He rolled his eyes.

"Shut up and scoot over. I want to take it when you're done."

Blaine stared in disbelief before turning slowly back to his computer and opening it up to the quiz, hovering the mouse above the option he had been about to select before he was interrupted.

"There's no way your favorite Christmas song is 'The Little Drummer Boy.' That's not anyone's favorite," Kurt poked Blaine in the side playfully.

"That's why it's my favorite." He clicked submit as he answered the last question. "Oh, look at that. I'm going to kiss Ryan Gosling under the mistletoe this year."

"You can have him. It's my turn now. Give it over!" Kurt made grabby hands at the laptop.

Blaine watched Kurt while he made his way through the questions, appreciating the laughter and lack of judgment in the boy who was quickly becoming his best friend. Kurt chanced a peek at Blaine, who was clearly wondering how he could be so lucky. Kurt understood. He asked himself the same question about his new friend daily.

Kurt smiled softly and dropped a quick kiss to Blaine's shoulder. "Okay, one more and then…" Kurt clicked the last button and waited for his results before cheering. "Idris Elba! Yes! Take that, Ryan Gosling kisser!"

"What? No! I'll trade you!" Blaine offered, jealous of Kurt's result.

"Not a chance. Get your own!"

"Didn't your father ever tell you that it's rude to be selfish?"

"Selfish? Moi?" Kurt held a hand to his heart. "Blaine, you should know by now that I will share anything with you. Anything except for Idris."

"Fine. I'm going down to the cafeteria and I'm going to eat all the cheesecake just so you can't have any."

" _No_! That's just cruel." Blaine was already up and heading out the door. "Blaine! Stop!" he called after him. "I'll give you Idris. Just don't take my cheesecake!"

Blaine giggled and slowed, allowing Kurt to catch up. "At least you have your priorities in order."

"The only thing about me that's straight."

 

* * *

 

Two months and innumerable online quizzes later, Kurt decided that he had made enough gay friends and built a deep enough connection with Blaine to firmly say his attraction to Blaine was the real deal. Not that he had really ever doubted his feelings. By the time he reached that conclusion, of course, he had an entirely different reason for pretending he felt nothing more than platonic affection for his friend, and it was just that — Blaine was his friend. The best friend he had ever had, actually. In the short span of time that they had known each other, they had become confidants and the other's biggest supporter. They helped each other with homework in their respective strength areas, made sure that the other boy was taking care of himself, and had even been named honorary members of the other's family. Kurt had never imagined it could be so nice to have someone who he could always count on to fall back to, but now he could not imagine life without Blaine.

The guys and girls from their dorm had become like an extended family, though Kurt and Blaine still preferred the company of each other over anyone else. He had good friends, a wonderful support system, and for the first time in his life, Kurt felt like he truly fit in.

One night in mid October, the dorm's resident assistant hosted a Vegas-themed mixer for the students in her dorm. Kurt and Blaine joined in for their usual reason: to gather gossip and mockery material.

The RA had set up tables with poker, blackjack, and even had a roulette wheel. There was a "bar" where a "bartender" was giving out nonalcoholic drinks, and a raucous game of bingo was going on in the far corner of the room. No actual gambling was allowed, but the students could trade in chips at the end of the night for prizes.

"Classy," Kurt snarked upon seeing the prize table. "Prizes from the school store. Need yet another University T-shirt? How about a pen? This is doing the exact opposite of motivating me to participate."

"Oh, but look!" Blaine squeezed Kurt's bicep. "That little stuffed doggie! I had the exact same one when I was a kid. I took him everywhere with me for a good year or so, but then I lost him." He used air quotes around the last part. "Pretty sure Cooper stole him from me and threw him away. His name was Elizabeth."

"A boy dog named Elizabeth?" Kurt turned to look at Blaine, shock coloring his features.

Blaine shrugged. "Don't judge. Boys can have girl names. Why do we even gender names anyway? It's a societal construct that—"

"My middle name is Elizabeth." Kurt half-expected the usual scoff, the refusal to believe, or the criticism that usually accompanied the confession, but none of it came.

"How is it possible that we have known each other for two months and I didn't know that?" Blaine's voice softened. "It was your mother's name, wasn't it?"

Kurt paid no attention to the fact that he was stopping in front of a moving stream of people when he turned and hugged Blaine tightly without explanation. Blaine happily hugged back, not needing one.

Kurt broke away first, patting Blaine on the back. "Okay, blackjack master, go win me a new stapler or something."

 

* * *

 

Kurt was wiping the floor with his bingo opponents as he sipped his way through his fourth Shirley Temple. Blaine kept bringing them over to him, for which Kurt was grateful, yet suspicious, so he started watching his roommate whenever he could spare a glance to try to uncover his motives.

Blaine was spending very little time playing blackjack and very much time at the bar, Kurt observed. He noticed that every time Blaine walked away from the bar, he looked slightly flushed and quite pleased with himself.

What was Blaine up to?

Kurt saw him walk up to the bar for the second time in ten minutes and begin talking to the bartender. The server was an older student, probably an upperclassman at the university, and he was extremely attractive. He said something and Blaine threw his head back in exaggerated laughter, eliciting a self-satisfied smile from the well-muscled bartender, and — _oh_! Blaine was flirting.

Letting his hand go slack around his bingo marker, Kurt stopped attending to the game altogether. The overwhelming force of jealousy was stunning as it slammed into him.

He breathed slowly, counted to ten, breathed again, counted backward from ten, then breathed one last time, all to stop himself from marching over to Blaine to take him home.

 _This is ridiculously irrational, Kurt,_ he told himself. _You have no claim over Blaine. You have no say in if he flirts and who he flirts with._

Regardless of whether or not they had talked about it or if Blaine returned his feelings, it stung that the boy he had a crazy crush on, the one who was also his best friend and the person he cared for most in the world (apart from his dad) would flirt with someone else. But then...how could Blaine know that Kurt didn't want him flirting with other guys? Kurt hadn't asked him not to, and he was certainly not planning on doing so. With the amazing friendship they had built, there was no chance Kurt would speak up about his feelings now and risk Blaine freaking out. With all of that in mind, how could Kurt expect Blaine not to flirt with and hook up with and date other people? And why would he _want_ him to stop? The last thing he wanted was for Blaine to be lonely and miserable. Blaine was an adventurous soul. He always tried to meet as many people and explore as many new things as he could, and Kurt refused to hold him back from that. He was just going to have to learn to allow Blaine to flirt and be flirted with, because if one thing was undeniable, it was that Blaine was insanely attractive and other boys were bound to start realizing.

So Kurt swallowed his jealousy and made a decision. He wouldn't hold Blaine back, and he wouldn't hold himself back. He would not allow himself to have Blaine, so he might as well take a page from the other man's book and start trying to put himself out there with other people.

At the present time, however, he had a much more important task. He needed to fulfill his new role as wingman.

Kurt abandoned his half-full bingo cards and walked over to the bar that Blaine had just left.

"Hi," he greeted the bartender. He saw Blaine's eyes on them from across the room, but ignored the curious look.

"Hi there. What can I get for you?" The older man was about Kurt's height, but much more filled out. His hair was a dirty blond, skin tanned, and he had eyes as brown as dark chocolate. Kurt's heart sank as he realized that the type of guy Blaine was apparently interested in was the exact opposite of him.

Once again, he pushed away the jealousy and put on a smile. "Your number." Upon the bartender's confused yet flattered look he added, "Not for me. For my friend."

The bartender followed Kurt's gaze to find Blaine half-immersed in his blackjack game, periodically looking up to check on them, and he nodded in recognition.

"Yes. Please. Give him my number. Give him my address. My email address. My credit card number. That guy can have it all."

Kurt sympathized with the look of adoration for Blaine. He laughed quietly and took the napkin with the phone number jotted down in pen. Walking away, Kurt went over to stand behind Blaine.

"Hey! What—" Blaine began, but Kurt cut him off by dangling the napkin in his face.

"He gets off at 11. You're welcome," Kurt kissed his cheek and darted away.

He breathed out when he settled back into his seat at the bingo table. He looked back over his shoulder to see Blaine grinning like a loon, and felt a smile spread across his own face.

If it made Blaine that happy, then he would gladly continue to play the part of wingman.

"Hi, are you Kurt?" asked the boy next to him. "I'm Hector."

Kurt eyed him in surprise, and took his hand to shake it. The boy was cute and well dressed, and though he had never met Hector before, he had heard his good friend Nick talk about how cool of a guy he was, so Kurt nodded with resolve. If Blaine could do it, he could too.

"Hi Hector. I was just thinking about heading down the street for a cup of coffee. Would you like to join me?"

Hector readily agreed, and Kurt fired off a text to Blaine to let him know where he was going, which received an excited thumbs up and soundless shriek from the blackjack table.

"Oh, hang on, Hector. I just need to stop at the prize table first," Kurt said. He may have been about to go on his first college date with Hector, but he had a stuffed dog named Elizabeth II to buy for Blaine, who, no matter how the date went, would always be there to welcome him home.

 

* * *

 

"Are you finished yet?" Kurt called through the bathroom door. It was Halloween weekend, and he and Blaine had been invited to their first house party. He was eager to leave, but Blaine was taking more than his allotted time in the bathroom to get in costume.

Neither Kurt nor Blaine would divulge his costume plans to the other, and Kurt was bursting in anticipation. Thinking he was incredibly humorous (as usual), Kurt had decided to dress as Blaine for the evening, from the gelled back hair right down to the loafers without socks.

"Fine! I'm done. Just putting on the last touches…" Kurt heard the spray of an aerosol can and then the door was opening and both boys were on the ground because they were laughing so hard.

Blaine's hair was done up in a heavily hairsprayed coif, he had squeezed himself into the tightest pair of jeans imaginable, and he wore a tight shirt complete with boots, scarf, and brooch.

"You're me!" Kurt wheezed.

"You're me!" Blaine could hardly catch his breath.

"Oh god," Kurt straightened out a minute later, wiping tears from his eyes. "We could not have planned this any better."

Blaine held him at arm's length. "You, Mr. Anderson, look dapper and handsome as hell."

Kurt smirked and looked Blaine over. "And you, Mr. Hummel, look stylish and hot as hell."

"Thank you! Wait...is that vain of us to say since we're dressed as each other?"

Kurt shrugged. "Don't care. Let's go to our first college party and have our first forbidden taste of alcohol and stay out late dancing and then stumble home holding each other up."

Blaine held out his arm to take Kurt's in their usual style. "Lead the way."

 

* * *

 

Alcohol was _awesome_. Alcohol made Kurt feel all warm and fuzzy and it made him really popular. Everyone kept complimenting him on his dance moves from his tabletop dance with Blaine. Speaking of, he wasn't sure where Blaine was at the moment, but he, Kurt, was currently lip-locked with a cute upperclassman who kept grabbing his butt.

Yep. Alcohol was awesome.

"Do you wanna take this back to my place?" The older guy asked in a gravelly voice that made Kurt shiver.

He was about to agree, but just then, Blaine came into view, hair disheveled and lips red and kiss-swollen. Kurt grinned. He knew exactly what Blaine had been up to.

"Hey!" he cried fondly, breaking away from his makeout partner's grasp. "There's my Blaine!"

Blaine heard his call and came over and planted a wet kiss on Kurt's cheek, slinging an arm around Kurt's shoulders.

Kurt's new friend took a step back. "Dude. Is this your boyfriend?"

Both boys in question burst into laughter.

"No! He's just my Blaine. Blaine," Kurt turned to his roommate with a wide smile and stage whispered, "This guy was _kissing_ me! He kept touching my ass! I mean, I don't blame him. It is a good ass."

"It's a great ass!" Blaine confirmed seriously.

They snickered like a couple of school children.

"Yeah, consider my proposition off the table," the other guy backed away with a wave and a muttered "cockblock."

Still giggling over their conquests, Kurt and Blaine dragged themselves in a spare bedroom that was surprisingly and thankfully devoid of couples having sex. They'd walked in on enough of those on their way to the room they were in.

"Oh god, I never want to see those parts of a female ever again," Kurt lamented, rubbing at his eyes. "There's a reason I'm gay!"

"Yeah, but did you see that guy, though? I got a nice view of his di—"

" _Blaine_!" Kurt clapped a hand over Blaine's mouth before he could say anything too scandalous.

"What, Kurt? We're gay. We should be comfortable talking about dicks because we love 'em."

Kurt bobbed his head in happy agreement.

"It's true. We do love dicks," he affirmed. Then he cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted, "WE LOVE DICKS!"

That resulted in the two best friends in a hysterical pile on the floor, unable to stop laughing. They both tried to stop, but just when they quieted, one would let out a giggle, and it would start all over again.

When they finally settled down, they were sprawled out on the ground side by side, staring up at the ceiling, the remnants of smiles from the joke still on their faces.

Kurt, breaking the silence, turned over on his side to face Blaine and asked, "Do you ever dream up the perfect guy?"

"All the time."

Kurt bit his lip, unsure if he wanted to hear Blaine's response to his next question, but curiosity won out. "What is he like, your dream guy?"

Blaine's answer was simple. "You."

 _Fuck_. Kurt had trained himself to the point where he was usually unaffected by Blaine anymore. There were times, of course, when Blaine just looked too gorgeous in a particular lighting, or when Blaine did something nice that proved that he knew Kurt better than anyone, and Kurt could not ignore his feelings, but for the most part, his crush on Blaine was well contained. Then there were times like these, when Blaine said or did something that made his heart leap out of his chest and into Blaine's hands, and Kurt nearly blew his cover for the strength of the affection ripping through him.

 _Damn it, Blaine,_ he thought.

"Huh," he said aloud.

"Huh?"

"Huh. Mine is like you."

"...Huh."

Kurt's stomach made a weird flop.

"It's too bad we couldn't ever be together," Blaine commented, still staring at the ceiling.

"Yeah, 'cause you're my best friend."

"You're mine too. So you couldn't be my boyfriend."

"Exactly."

"Shit," Blaine sounded defeated.

"Shit," Kurt echoed.

"...Hey, Kurt?"

"What?"

"I think I am going to puke."

"Okay."

"Okay."

 

* * *

 

"I want to have sex," Blaine said, sitting down on the couch next to Kurt at a friend's party a month later.

Kurt looked around, confused, but nobody was nearby. "Uh...with whom?"

Blaine shrugged. "I don't know yet. But I want to have sex. Don't you?"

"Well yes, someday. When I find the right person."

"What's the most you've ever done with a guy?"

Kurt took a long swig of his beer to steel himself. "Are we really having this talk right now?"

Blaine nodded happily. "If we can't talk to each other about it, who can we talk to?"

"I guess," Kurt agreed reluctantly. "I sort of feel like we need to get very manly for this conversation. What's something manly we can do?"

"Call each other by our last names?"

"Genius, Anderson."

Blaine clapped his hands together and bounced up and down in his seat in delight. "Oh, I like it! That's cute when you call me that."

"That's not what I was going for," Kurt wrinkled his nose in displeasure.

"Come on, Hummel," Blaine teased.

"Hm. You're right. It's adorable coming from you."

"Well, we tried. Back to sex."

Kurt rolled his eyes and crossed his legs in front of him. "You just lost all cuteness points."

Blaine angled his body toward Kurt, placing his hand on Kurt's knee. "You can't distract me forever. Answer my question, Hummel. What's the most you've done?."

Kurt stared into his cup with a blush creeping up his face before mumbling something incoherent.

"What was that?" Blaine leaned in closer so that his ear was right next to Kurt's mouth.

"Hand jobs," Kurt said more clearly.

Blaine sat back, nodding in approval. "Me too. And I've given a blow job, but not received."

"Really? Who?"

"The guy at that Halloween party. Although I was dressed as you, so it was hard to tell if he was into me or you…"

"Me, most likely," Kurt joked. "Mine was a guy this summer. I met him through a friend and we dated for a little while."

"You never told me you dated anyone before you came here!"

"Yeah, well I left for New York and we weren't going to see each other again, so what does it matter?"

"Did you like it?" Blaine directed the conversation back to the topic at hand.

"What? The hand job? What do you think? Did you like yours?"

"What do you think?"

Kurt laughed. He told Blaine something he had been thinking about for a while. "I mean, as good as it was, there was definitely something missing. I can't imagine that's as good as it gets."

"What do you think was missing?"

"A connection. A partner who knows me better than I know myself. I just believe that sex would be so much better with someone I love."

Blaine stared at Kurt for a moment. "You're right. I never thought about that, but you're right. You have to be."

"I do. Because I'm always right."

Blaine slapped his thigh. "Well, here's to practicing so that we're perfect when the right person comes along." He held up his beer cup for a cheers.

Kurt was fairly certain that he'd already found that person, but if Blaine was going to practice, then Kurt didn't want to be inexperienced if their time ever came. He tapped Blaine's cup with his own, drinking to the sentiment.

 

* * *

 

"Okay, Anderson. You can do this. You've been waiting, and the day is finally here. You. Are going. To be. Amazing. You're a rockstar. A sex master. Go rock his world!"

Kurt was holding Blaine at arm's length in their dorm room, giving him a pep talk for the long-awaited "sex date," as they were calling it. Both he and Blaine had been dating their guys for a couple months now, and both thought they were ready to go all the way. They had devised a plan for it to happen: Blaine would go back to his date's place for the night, leaving Kurt with the dorm room to himself.

Now they were preparing to meet their dates, and both boys were extremely nervous.

Blaine extended his arms out to wind over Kurt's and clutch onto his shoulders as well.

"And you, Hummel," Blaine said, utilizing the last name endearment that had stuck around since that first joke, "are going to blow Derek's mind. You're the Kama Sutra embodied. There's nobody better than you. He's going to come just by looking at you naked, because you are perfect. I'm assuming."

Kurt broke into fits of laughter, dissolving any nerves he had previously felt.

Blaine pulled him into a hug. "Things are so much easier when it's just you and me. Can't we just swear off all men and live together forever as old spinsters?"

Kurt's heart thudded to a stop. When Blaine said things like that, it did things to him. Slowly, his heart remembered how to beat, and he forced himself to laugh.

"We don't have to be spinsters, though. We can marry each other. That way we'd ward off any potential unwanted gentleman callers."

Blaine squeezed Kurt tighter and bowed his head to kiss his shoulder. "I'm down."

They separated, feeling much better about their dates.

"By the way," Blaine said as he walked away from Kurt. "Thanks for letting me borrow your purple shirt."

"I didn't," Kurt said in confusion.

Blaine ducked into the closet to grab the shirt and slipped it on. "You did. Thanks."

"You little shit! I guess now would be a good time to tell you that your mom sent you a new package of underwear and socks. They fit great." Kurt lifted up his shirt and snapped the waistband of the boxer briefs.

Blaine acted affronted. "How dare you? Wait until I tell my mother about this!"

"You know she'll take my side. She always does," Kurt said with a grin.

"Ugh. I changed my mind. I don't want to marry you."

"Suit yourself. In that case, I'm going out with my boyfriend to have sex." Kurt returned Blaine's earlier shoulder kiss and swiped his jacket on the way out the door. "Good luck!"

 

* * *

 

Kurt's date had not gone as planned. Instead of finally having sex, he was now sitting on his couch alone and boyfriendless.

He thought back to how things had been wrong from the first hello hug he and Derek had shared that night. Kurt was irritated right off the bat by the way Derek was wearing a scarf that he had borrowed from Kurt's closet, and he should have known right then. Derek wasn't Blaine. He never would be, and neither would any other guy. But Kurt couldn't wait around forever for an unrequited love, so he tried. But when they arrived at Kurt's dorm and Kurt made a joke about turning into an old spinster and Derek didn't understand or play along, he decided that was enough. So he'd said goodbye to Derek for the night and probably forever, and he was now watching reruns of Project Runway in his pajamas and eating ice cream out of the carton while Blaine was out getting on with his life and getting laid.

But at quarter to midnight, a key turned in the front door and Blaine stepped in carefully, covering his eyes.

"Kurt? Are you out here?"

"I'm here, Blaine." The sadness in his voice made Blaine drop his hand and look at Kurt with a frown.

"What happened?"

"It didn't work out," Kurt explained. "What are you doing home?"

Blaine slipped out of his jacket and shoes and made a face. "It didn't work out."

Kurt patted the futon next to him and held out a giant spoonful of ice cream. Blaine trotted over, mouth first, to eat the dessert, then flopped down next to Kurt, curling his cold toes under Kurt's leg.

"Ah! How are your feet always so freezing?" Blaine shrugged and wiggled his toes against Kurt's thigh. "Did you at least get to have sex before it didn't work out?" Kurt asked.

Blaine gave a sad smile. "Yeah. But you're right. There's something missing."

 

* * *

 

"Okay, there's a sandwich in there so you don't have to stop for lunch, and I slipped your favorite sweater of mine in there for the party since I know you've been dying to seduce your cousin's friend. Don't forget to tell your parents I say hi and that I love them, okay?"

Blaine nodded. "Thanks. I'll swing by and check on your dad when I'm in town, too. I'm really, really sorry to leave you alone like this. My parents have the worst timing ever."

"They can't help that their anniversary is the same weekend as move-in day. I'll be fine. Nick and Jeff said they'd help."

"I wish you could come with me," Blaine pouted.

"Me too. Next time."

"This will be the longest we've ever gone without seeing each other since we met."

"Are you _trying_ to make me cry?"

An evil grin crossed Blaine's face. "Maybe."

"Well stop it!"

"Okay, okay. I'll call when I get there."

"Next time I see you we will be sophomores, and we will have our own apartment. One that you've given me permission to decorate myself since you're leaving me alone to move," Kurt gloated.

"Don't make me regret it."

Kurt laughed and kissed Blaine's cheek, pushing his messenger bag into his hands. "Drive safe. Love you, Anderson."

"Love you, Hummel. See you in two weeks."


	2. Sophomore Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise early update because a) I miss my Sunday night updates and b) it’s my birthday, and my gift to myself is to share this happy/funny/sad/smutty/sweet/upsetting chapter with you. Hope you experience all of those things and more! xo

If there was one thing Kurt Hummel loved, it was sharing a living space with another human being. Not just any human being, though. He loved sharing his space with Blaine, who was clearly put on Earth to be his roommate. They knew each other's schedules down to the minute and understood the nuances of the other's behavior so well that they usually did not need to speak to communicate. He loved that when he studied, Blaine strummed his guitar softly in the background because he knew Kurt liked it. He loved packing Blaine's lunch for him because the ridiculous boy usually forgot to eat breakfast. He loved that without having to say it, they had come to the agreement that Kurt would do laundry if Blaine washed the dishes. He loved having his best friend around all the time. Kurt loved boundaries, but mostly he loved that there weren't any between them. Any but one, that was.

As deep as Kurt's attraction to Blaine grew day after day, he never once let it on to the other man. Blaine had made it clear that Kurt was as important to him as he was to Kurt, and Kurt knew that meant he found their friendship to be something sacred that needed protecting. He would never dream of doing anything to ruin it.

Anyway, Blaine was seeing some new guy on and off, and Kurt had been dating one of his classmates, Jess, for about a month now. It was becoming easier for Kurt to see Blaine with other guys, because they made him happy, and that was all Kurt really wanted for him.

The semester was about to begin and Blaine was on his way back from Ohio, where he had been visiting his grandmother, who had fallen ill.

He and Kurt had moved into their new house at the beginning of summer and had been together every day since, with the exception of Blaine's trip home. Kurt had wanted to join him, but his internship at Vogue did not allow him that much vacation time.

So he spent the week working and hanging out with Jess, who had taken him on a romantic date the night before. Kurt was just walking through the doors of his apartment after staying the night with Jess when his phone rang.

He picked up the call, but did not even say a single word before Blaine started talking.

"You can't just text me something like that and then not respond to me for twelve hours!" Blaine's voice was high and excited.

"Good morning to you, too," Kurt laughed.

"Spill the beans, Hummel. Did you or did you not sleep with Jess last night?"

"Whatever makes you think I would do something like that?" Kurt asked with mock innocence.

"Maybe it was the text at 11:30 last night that said 'about to cash in my v-card, wish me luck!'" The sound of an announcement coming from the airport speakers filled Blaine's end of the line. "So. Did you do it or not?"

"I don't kiss and tell, Anderson," Kurt smiled.

"First of all, yes you do, to me. Secondly, I'm not really someone to tell, I'm just like...more you. I'm like an extension of Kurt Hummel. So I don't count. Please. I'm dying over here, Kurt."

"Fine," Kurt sighed happily. "Yes, I did. It was amazing, Blaine. You know how romantic Jess is. It was just fabulous."

"Did you top?"

" _Blaine_!" Kurt pretended to be scandalized by the question, but the truth was that Blaine probably knew more about his sex life than he did. They'd had many late night discussions about their experiences; likes, dislikes, and embarrassing moments. Kurt had to dissociate himself from the conversations, becoming just an objective listener to avoid getting too jealous when Blaine talked about sleeping with other guys, but he was so thankful to have someone to turn to with questions who he knew would never judge him.

"I'll take that as a 'yes.' I know that's how you wanted your first time. Well good. I'm glad you're happy and that you had a good time."

"Thanks. Me too. But Blaine…I can't help but feel like…" Kurt had a hard time bringing himself to say it, because as far as first times go, his was perfect, and as far as guys go, Jess was the best he'd dated. Luckily, Blaine filled in the gap for him.

"There was still something missing?"

"Is that awful to say? Jess is amazing. I thought he was someone I could potentially fall in love with. Am I just looking for something that doesn't exist? What if nothing is truly missing, and I'll never be satisfied?"

"It has to exist, because I know exactly what you mean. But don't let it get in the way of enjoying your life right now, Hummel. We're young, and there's so much time."

"Thanks. I miss you."

"Me too. But you won't have to for long. I'm boarding in a few minutes. I'll catch a cab back to the apartment and see you in a couple of hours."

Kurt relaxed at the idea, because home wasn't home without Blaine there.

 

* * *

 

Getting extremely drunk and slipping away from their friends to hole up in an abandoned room to talk had become the norm for Blaine and Kurt at house parties over the last year.

Usually just back from hookups with cute partygoers, the two would link arms and sneak away to find a place to hang out, just the two of them, away from the pounding bass of the music and the drunken antics of the other people in the house. Their friends always rolled their eyes as Kurt and Blaine went for their traditional "Gay Talk," which they joked was now trademarked. Everyone assumed that they talked about boys and sex, and while they definitely touched on those subjects, drunk Blaine had a tendency to spout monologues about the vastness of space and time, whereas drunk Kurt usually explored deep philosophical topics.

Tonight, though, at Tina and Mike's beginning of the year kickoff party, neither Kurt nor Blaine had drunk more than one beer when they snuck out onto the balcony.

Kurt saw Mike elbow their friend David as he stepped out the door, saying "Time for Gay Talk™!"

"They think they're so funny," Kurt said, sliding the glass door shut behind him and scooting in close to Blaine on the built-in bench.

"In their defense, you are pretty consistent about it," Nick said from the bench on the other side of the balcony, alerting Kurt to his and Jeff's presence. "I'm excited you've chosen to share your Gay Talk™ space with us today. We get to hear the innermost secrets of the Klaine world."

Blaine laughed at their friends' dumb name for their friendship. "Yeah, well we're not drunk tonight, so no deep musings about the universe and our place in it."

" _That's_ what you guys talk about? We for sure thought it was dirtier and more scandalous than that." Jeff sounded disappointed.

"Sorry to burst your bubble," Kurt said, "but yes. Drunk Kurt and Blaine are very boring unless you like conversations about both literal and metaphorical black holes. Lucky for you, we've had very few drinks tonight, so you're spared. What were you two talking about before we so rudely interrupted?"

"We were discussing who we envisioned as our dream men before we met each other. Jeff's was the exact opposite of me," Nick laughed.

"But you're so much better than what I could have dreamed up," Jeff rubbed his nose over Nick's.

"Sickeningly adorable," Blaine announced.

"What about your dream guys?" Jeff prompted Blaine and Kurt.

They launched into their descriptions, well-rehearsed since they'd talked about it before, Blaine stating that his perfect man would be taller than him, fairer than him, and more stylish than him, and Kurt stating that his would be shorter than him, darker than him, and smarter than him. They told Nick and Jeff that Kurt wanted someone equally as musically talented, someone romantic, and someone who he could trust implicitly, and that Blaine wanted someone with sharp wit, someone who would always fight for him, and someone who understood him without having to ask. They explained that for both of them, their perfect guy would be someone they did not need to get to know, but someone who they felt like they'd known all their lives.

By the time they finished gushing about their imaginary men, Jeff and Nick were staring at them with their mouths hanging wide open.

"What?" Kurt asked, shivering in the chilly air under Blaine's arm that was slung over his shoulder. Blaine subconsciously wrapped him up tighter.

"You two realize you just spent five minutes describing each other, right? I mean—"

"We know," they spoke in unison, cutting off Nick.

"But you're not…?" Jeff motioned between the two of them.

"Of course not, he's my best friend," Blaine scoffed his usual response. "Plus, he has a boyfriend."

"The two of you. I swear..." Nick said with a roll of his eyes. "Where is Jess tonight, anyway?"

"Working," Kurt said. _Thankfully_ , Kurt thought ungraciously, because he had not had a moment alone with Blaine since he'd returned to New York, and Jess was not the biggest fan of Gay Talk™, or any intimate moments between him and Blaine, really. Jess was good about accepting the affectionate relationship between the two without much griping, but Kurt could tell it made him uncomfortable at times. He was not willing to give up any part of his friendship with Blaine for Jess or any other guy, though, something they had both been adamant about after Blaine's first run in with a jealous boyfriend.

"And how does Jess stand up to dream man standards?" Jeff asked with an eyebrow raised.

Kurt glanced at Blaine. "He's great, he's just not…" _Blaine_. The only thing he could never say to his best friend. "He's great."

Blaine spoke up from beside him. "Well I, for one, am glad he's not here, because now I don't need to pry you away from his side for a table dance. They're playing our song!" He jumped up and dragged Kurt inside.

Jeff leaned back and relaxed into Nick's arms. "How long do you reckon they'll go before they get together?"

"Too long, probably, knowing those idiots."

 

* * *

 

Kurt was having the absolute worst day. It had started with spilling coffee on his favorite shirt on his way to work and grew progressively worse from there. To top it all off, he had been looking forward to unwinding with a bottle of wine and a Top Model marathon with his best friend, when he remembered that Blaine had planned to meet up with a few of his classmates to work on a group project that night.

He stalked angrily home from the subway stop thinking about the senior editor who had claimed Kurt's original idea as his own, thinking of a thorough list of nasty names to call the man next time he saw him. Stopping at the corner market for a much needed bag of his favorite chocolates, he stood in the checkout line behind the slowest person in the entire store for a good fifteen minutes before it was his turn, only to realize he'd forgotten his credit card at home that day and didn't have any cash on him.

 _Could this day get any worse?_ he thought as he left the store empty-handed.

Kurt knew it was highly unlikely that Blaine would stop at home before heading out to meet his study group, but what Kurt really needed, more than chocolate and a bottle of wine, was one of Blaine's signature full-body hugs. Those always made him feel better. He sighed. Hopefully Blaine would at least be home early enough for Kurt to crawl into bed with him.

Kurt pushed the front door open to find the mess of dishes he had left this morning, which he had promised Blaine he would finish when he came home from work.

After the day he'd had, seeing the dishes there was too much for him to handle, and Kurt sank down to the ground, shuddering with sobs. He was just thinking that the floor sounded like a great place to stay all night when Blaine came in the door calling out "Hummel, are you home? You'll never guess what I bought for you—oh my god, are you okay?" He nearly tripped over the shaking figure on the ground, and realizing it was his best friend, he fell to his knees and his hands immediately flew out to pull Kurt into him.

Kurt cried harder at the unexpected comfort of Blaine being home.

"J-j-just a really b-bad day," he choked out, clinging onto Blaine.

"Well then it's a good thing I happened to buy these chocolates you love so much on my way to class this morning," Blaine held out a bag of the same candies Kurt had tried to purchase at the store just thirty minutes earlier.

"Oh, you're a f-fucking godsend," Kurt told him, taking the chocolates and immediately unwrapping one. "What would I do without you?"

Blaine wiped a sympathy tear from his face — he could never help himself when Kurt was crying — and then dried Kurt's tears.

"You'd still be craving those candies, that's for sure."

Kurt let out a wet laugh. "What are you doing home, anyway?"

"I had to swing by because I forgot my notebook. But you know what?" He pulled out his phone and peeked at the screen. "We had to postpone our project meeting until tomorrow. So I'm all yours tonight. Let's share a bottle of wine and watch TV until our brains rot."

"God, Anderson, you have no idea how good it is to hear you say that."

Blaine smiled at him. "Go get situated on the couch, and I'll finish up these dishes and order us a pizza for dinner, okay?"

Kurt promptly obeyed, his mood significantly improved just from Blaine being around. Kurt had done much of the consoling between the two of them lately, since Blaine had been in a funk about guys always breaking things off with him. He'd never been in a relationship longer than two months, and he wondered what was wrong with him to make that happen. (Kurt promised it had nothing to do with him, and that the other guys were the ones missing out.) Now that he was the one needing a pick-me-up, Kurt was so glad that Blaine was the one he could turn to.

And when Blaine went to meet the pizza man at the door a little later and Kurt read the text that came through on his phone ( _From Sara: Sorry to hear about the emergency, Blaine. Of course we can move our meeting to tomorrow. I hope your friend is feeling better soon_ ), he fell a little further in love.

Blaine came back into the living room to find Kurt standing and staring at him expectantly.

"What are you doing? The pizza's ready," he said, giving Kurt a strange look.

"Forget about the pizza for a second. Come here." Kurt held out his arms, and after putting down the box he was holding, Blaine walked into Kurt's embrace for one of their classic bear hugs.

The smell of Blaine was overwhelmingly comforting, reminding Kurt that he was exactly where he was supposed to be. He spoke into the junction of Blaine's neck and shoulder. "I don't tell you nearly enough, but thank you for everything you do for me. You are my best friend, and the most precious person in the world to me. I really don't know what I would do without you."

Blaine gripped Kurt tighter, pulling away just enough to rest their foreheads together. "You know I feel the same. What brought this on?"

"Other than the fact that you're always amazing? Sara sent you a text about your project."

Blaine chuckled in recognition. "Ah. I didn't mean to lie to you about it."

"Oh, whatever. It was the sweetest lie you could have told. You didn't have to do that for me." Kurt hugged him once more, reveling in the warmth of Blaine's body pressed to his.

"I would do anything for you," Blaine said with a shrug in his voice as he brought Kurt away from him slightly and sat them down on the couch.

"I'd do anything for you, too." Kurt squeezed Blaine's knee before opening the pizza box that sat on the table. One look and he turned away in disgust.

"Except eat fucking Hawaiian pizza. Goddamn, Blaine. How can you stand to eat this monstrosity?"

Blaine giggled victoriously.

"I suppose I can pick off the pineapple and suffer through," Kurt made a show of being dramatically reluctant, even though they both knew he would happily take the pineapple off and eat just the ham. "You owe me, though. Next time, we're getting a veggie."

"Oh stop. I just wanted a rise out of you," Blaine admitted, walking over to the kitchen and bringing back a second box. "I got you a separate veggie pizza."

And that, in a nutshell, was exactly why Kurt Hummel was head over heels for Blaine Anderson.

 

* * *

 

Six hour car rides were not Kurt's idea of fun, but at least he was on the tail end of the trip. He looked over to Jess, smiling at the way his head bopped along to the beat of the music blaring through the car speakers. Kurt really liked Jess. They shared many of the same interests, he could hold intellectual conversations with him, and Jess always kept him on his toes by treating him to plenty of new and exciting experiences.

Currently, they were driving to a cottage in Maine for a weekend getaway, jamming out to show tunes and playing Fuck, Marry, Kill while passing a container of peanut butter-filled pretzels between the two of them.

Yes, Kurt was happy with Jess, but he knew it wasn't the real deal. One look at the other man, and Kurt could tell instantly, from the lack of a swooping sensation in his stomach, that Jess wasn't it for him.

Kurt's phone rang for the third time in two minutes, the display lighting up with a photograph of himself and Blaine laughing together on a bench in Prospect Park. He sent Blaine to voicemail as he had the first two times, not willing to interrupt Jess' awful attempt at serenading him with the song "You'd Be So Easy To Love" from _Anything Goes_.

When a text from Blaine came through seconds later, though, simply stating Call me, Kurt silenced Jess without a second thought.

"What is it?" Jess pouted. "Is my singing that horrible?"

"Well yes," Kurt laughed, "but that's not why I interrupted. Can you turn down the music please? I need to call Blaine."

Jess' jaw tightened and his eyes stared straight ahead at the road. "Why? Does he need your help matching a bow tie to his outfit again? Or maybe he wants to know where you keep the backup stash of toilet paper? Do you need to help him meal plan for the coming week?"

Kurt bit his tongue. Jess (and all of the guys had Kurt dated) were sensitive when it came to his relationship with Blaine. Rarely did Jess speak out about it, because he truly tried to understand, but the tension surrounding the subject had been growing and growing over the past two weeks, as Jess realized that Blaine was a permanent fixture in their relationship, and that he was not going to be able to overtake Blaine as the number one person in Kurt's life.

"No, Jess, I think something's wrong," Kurt's fingers swiped the screen to call Blaine again.

"What is it this time? Did he misplace his schedule for the weekend and needs you to confirm his appointments?"

Kurt did not dignify him with an answer. He turned his back toward Jess the best he could in the tiny vehicle as he listened for Blaine to pick up.

"Kurt," Blaine said in relief as he answered the phone. Kurt immediately knew Blaine had been crying.

"What's wrong, Anderson?" His voice conveyed a tender caring.

"I'm so sorry, I don't want to ruin your weekend getaway…"

"Tell me, Blaine." Kurt's voice was firmer this time.

One sob. A pause. Another sob.

"My grandma died."

Kurt's heart fell to the floor. Grandma Anderson, the sweetest old lady there was, was one of Blaine's favorite people in the world. Kurt had never met her in person, but they had chatted via Skype so many times, Kurt counted her as family. Blaine loved Grandma A dearly, and Kurt's heart broke imagining how much pain Blaine was in at the moment.

"Shit, Blaine. I'm so sorry. _Fuck_! I wish I was with you right now." Kurt's free hand fidgeted, feeling so profoundly helpless.

"No," Blaine's wavering words reassured him. "I'm flying home tomorrow at noon anyway. You need to enjoy your weekend. You've been so stressed out lately, you need this time to unwind and relax."

"Listen to you, worried about me at a time like this. You're ridiculous." Kurt smiled at Blaine's sweet heart. He considered what to do for only a split second before reaching a decision. "Okay, well do exactly as I say, all right?"

Blaine did not answer, but Kurt knew he was nodding on his end of the line.

"Call Nick and have him stay in my room tonight, just in case you need anything. Then go to the freezer, dig all the way in the back behind the packets of frozen vegetables and you'll find a box of those ice cream bars you love so much but I never let you buy. Eat as many as you want. Grab my blanket and Elizabeth II from my room and curl up with them on the couch while you watch _The Sound of Music_. I know it was your favorite movie to watch with Grandma Anderson. Nick will take you to the airport tomorrow and make sure you are sent off all right. And Blaine?"

Sniff. "Yeah?"

"Please call me if you need anything."

Kurt sensed another nod. He bit his lip, fighting off the tears that pricked at his eyes.

"This sucks. She was the best."

"The best of the best," Blaine confirmed.

"Tell her I said I'll miss her, 'kay?"

"'Kay. Love you, Hummel."

"Love you. Call me."

The call disconnected. Kurt looked over at Jess. "I need to go home."

 

* * *

 

The scene in front of Kurt when he arrived home late that night perfectly matched the image in his head of what he had expected to find.

Blaine was fast asleep and cuddled up with Elizabeth II on the couch, the movie title screen playing on loop, balled up tissues and empty ice cream bar wrappers littering the floor, and his phone held loosely in his upturned palm, opened to his text messages with Kurt. The closed door of his bedroom and the extra shoes by the front door indicated that Nick had indeed come over to keep an eye on Blaine.

Setting his things down in the middle of the entry, Kurt walked over to the couch to untangle Blaine from the oversized fuzzy blanket he was wrapped in. He slid under the blanket next to his friend and wrapped his arms tightly around him, causing him to stir.

"Kurt?" Blaine was disoriented and blinked rapidly to try to clear his eyes that were red and sore from crying.

"Shh," Kurt rested his head against Blaine's shoulder, giving it a lingering kiss. "I'm here. Go back to sleep."

"You're here?" The sleepy, confused voice held so much disbelief and hope that it sent a jolt of emotion through Kurt.

"Of course I am."

"Jess wasn't mad that I ruined your weekend?"

"You didn't do anything. Don't worry about that right now."

Now was not the time to tell Blaine that Jess had refused to bring Kurt back. Now was not the time to tell Blaine he had walked half a mile to a rental car company and driven back himself. Now was not the time to tell Blaine that Jess had broken things off with him. Someday Kurt would tell him that he was the reason most of his relationships ended. Someday Kurt would tell him that nobody he dated ever understood that, no matter if they were just friends, Blaine would always come first in his life. Someday Kurt would tell him that all the heartbreak was worth it for moments like these.

Blaine's chest shook as he cried again. "I am very sad," he told Kurt matter-of-factly.

Kurt smiled a melancholy smile and hugged him close. "I know you are."

"But I'm better now that you're here."

Kurt craned his neck to kiss Blaine's shoulder once again, this time with a quick, affectionate peck.

"I am too."

Blaine reached for the tissue box for something to dry his tears with, but it was empty. Kurt offered his sleeve.

"Just don't get snot on it," he warned jokingly.

Blaine laughed, a sound Kurt was so glad to hear. "You're going to need my emergency eye cream in the morning," he told Blaine.

"You _would_ be thinking about my skincare."

Kurt shrugged with a wide smile. "Whatever. You know you're going to see your cousin's friend when you're home, don't you? The 'really, really hot one with abs like a god?' You need to look your best if you have any chance of hooking up with him."

"You're right. You're always right. Always looking out for me, be it my health, my grades, or my sex life."

"That's what best friends are for."

"Speaking of...I can't believe you keep my favorite dessert hidden in this house right under my nose! And I can't believe I never found them!"

"I can. That's why I hid them where I did. You'd never willingly touch vegetables."

They snuggled in silence for a moment before Blaine wriggled in Kurt's hold, turning his body so that they were face to face. They hugged horizontally, bodies pressed close and chins hooked over each other's shoulders.

Minutes passed and Kurt thought Blaine had fallen asleep again.

"Thank you," Blaine mumbled emotionally.

"Any time." Kurt turned his head to kiss Blaine's cheek. "Anything."

 

* * *

 

The break between semesters was almost over, Christmas and the new year having come and passed in a flurry of excitement and family. Kurt and Blaine had traveled back to Ohio together for the holiday, where they hosted a large family Christmas dinner at Blaine's house for the Andersons and the Hudson-Hummels.

It had been a blast having everyone together under the same roof, and Kurt and Blaine were the perfect hosts. Their parents got along famously, the evening ending with the moms gushing over Blaine's baby books and the dads troubleshooting the new car stereo Blaine had given his parents. Even Cooper had flown in for the weekend, regaling them all with stories of Hollywood, and tormenting Blaine by following him around and dangling mistletoe over his head wherever he went ("Where's Ryan Gosling?" Kurt had joked more than once).

Blaine's birthday fell on New Year's Eve, when he and Kurt were already back in New York. Mrs. Anderson had begun a tradition when Blaine and Cooper were young of giving back to the community on their birthdays. Growing up, the Anderson boys always had more toys than they could want, and by doing community service, they learned to feel rewarded by doing nice things for other people.

For the second year in a row, Blaine celebrated by taking Kurt to a nearby children's hospital to play and sing for the patients, an activity that filled their hearts to the brim. Seeing Blaine with children was like kryptonite for Kurt. He was simply amazing with them.

The time they had spent together during the holidays had brought Blaine and Kurt impossibly closer together. Kurt could feel something building between them, and if ever there was a time that he wanted to break down and tell Blaine how he felt about him, this would be it.

Blaine had planned a date with a guy he had chatted with online once or twice for the following day (he swore that he wouldn't mess up and that _this_ would be the relationship that lasted longer than two months), and the day after, classes would resume. Their regular lives would take over again, leaving their uninterrupted two weeks together a distant, but fond memory. Blaine and Kurt were both guilty of trying to squeeze every last drop out of their last night like this. They weren't quite ready to burst the cloud of happiness and togetherness that had surrounded them the past week, so now, though their friends had planned a huge New Year's Eve party, they sat at home alone together, having a private two-person party.

"Thanks again for taking me with you to the children's hospital today," Kurt said as he and Blaine curled up together on the couch, lazily watching the New Year's Rockin' Eve broadcast. "You were brilliant. This whole break with you has been indescribably amazing, and I'm so sad to see it end. You said it best yourself, things are so much easier when it's just the two of us."

"I am very wise," Blaine nodded sagely from his spot wedged between Kurt and the end of the couch, eliciting a snort from Kurt.

"Blaine?" Kurt felt a rush of affection overcome him. "Can we stay like this forever? Just you and me?"

Blaine lifted his head from where it rested against Kurt's side, eyes wide and shining with some indescribable emotion.

Kurt's eyes locked on his and in that moment, it was inevitable. The year of hidden longing and late nights suppressing the desire to confess his attraction all came down to this moment.

Kurt never thought it would be so easy, that Blaine would offer himself up so willingly. He had imagined weeks, if not months, of convincing Blaine of his feelings and that it would be okay to act on them.

But here, on a regular Saturday night, when the air between them was so supercharged that it felt anything but regular, the look in Blaine's eyes was unmistakable.

The flicker of a gaze to his lips. The marked acceleration of breath. The tightening of a warm hand on his stomach. Kurt would not have been able to hold himself back if he tried.

His face leaned in close to Blaine's and he sent one last glance into his eyes to check for any lingering apprehension, but all he found radiating from his best friend was love, so he pushed aside any remaining doubts he had and claimed Blaine's lips with his own.

All at once, Blaine's body responded as if the kiss had brought him to life. He pushed into Kurt's lips, savoring the feel they'd both been craving, and imploring him to continue. His strong arms encircled Kurt's waist, holding him securely while his leg slid up and over to rest atop one of Kurt's, and just like that, their bodies and souls were intertwined.

Kurt responded in kind; he angled his torso toward Blaine, leaning into his embrace, and allowing his hands to explore the planes of his back.

Blaine was actually the one to initiate deepening the kiss by parting his lips with a breathy groan.

If it had been a normal day, Kurt would have mocked him for the sounds falling from his tongue, but nothing about this was normal, and Kurt was in no place to say anything negative about that tongue — the one he had only dreamed of having all over him. He accepted the invitation by letting his tongue dance into Blaine's open mouth, tasting the sweetest essence of the other boy.

Kurt had been told that he was a good kisser, and he prided himself on it, but next to Blaine, he paled spectacularly in comparison. The way Blaine's lips moved so delicately against his, the way his tongue traced patterns on his lips, his tongue, the roof of his mouth, the way Blaine moaned soft little whimpers every time he exhaled...it was all too much and exactly right at the same time.

When hot, sure fingers found their way to the skin under his now untucked t-shirt, Kurt let out a noise he was sure he would be embarrassed of in the morning. He'd had Blaine's hands on his bare skin before, and while it always affected him, it had never affected him _like this_.

His hand trailed down Blaine's back to mimic his hand placement, sneaking fingers that were eager to touch, to explore, to please along the line just above Blaine's waistband.

Touching Blaine and being touched by him in return, however relatively innocent it was (though admittedly growing less innocent with every passing second), transported Kurt to another place entirely. The blood running through his veins sang under Blaine's careful yet passionate touch.

Too suddenly, without his approval and much to his dismay, Blaine pulled away from Kurt's mouth.

Something that sounded suspiciously like " _holy shit_ " escaped Blaine's lips as he rested his head on Kurt's shoulder while he tried to control his heaving breaths.

Kurt couldn't stand not kissing him. He reached two fingers underneath Blaine's chin to tilt his head up to look at him, and leaned back in to return his lips to where they so clearly belonged.

"No," Blaine breathed, and with one simple word, Kurt's heart shattered. He should have known it was too good to be true. Blaine must have realized that kissing him was a mistake. He moved to rise from the couch, preparing to spend the night broken-hearted.

But then, turning Kurt's hurt to confusion, Blaine slipped his hands under Kurt's shirt once more and tugged it up.

"Off," Blaine commanded. "Bed."

 

* * *

 

They stumbled to Blaine's bedroom in a flushed mess of clumsy limbs, and Kurt, shirtless and wanting, crawled atop the bed to spread himself out and bite his lip as he looked longingly at Blaine.

Blaine was busy staring. Just staring, like he never thought he'd see something as beautiful as Kurt in his bed.

"Blaine? Are you going to join me?" Kurt joked, slowly and tantalizingly running a hand down his own smooth chest.

Blaine, snapping out of his trance, threw his shirt over his head and practically ran to the bed to lay beside Kurt and began mapping out every inch of his exposed skin.

Kurt had never felt the way he did under Blaine's touch, like a piece of prized art, like his body was made to be held and worshipped by his best friend. He briefly wondered if Blaine felt the same. If his reactions were anything to go by, he did. But did Blaine always shiver under the touch of his lovers' fingertips? Did he always gasp in pleasure when boys kissed down his neck? Or were those reactions reserved for Kurt and Kurt alone?

Determined to answer the unspoken question, Blaine panted, "god, Kurt, you're unbelievable. I never want to stop."

At that, Kurt let out a broken cry, and turned them over so that he was on top, pressing down into Blaine. He kissed Blaine's lips, his jaw, his pulse point, his chest, and down the soft line of hair on Blaine's lower abdomen to the button on his pants, which he swiftly unfastened. He easily slid the pants off, taking a second to step away and pull his off as well.

Blaine, who would undoubtedly be the death of Kurt, was whining and writhing at being left alone on the bed, mouthing soundless words that Kurt could just make out on his lips. "Please, please, please."

Heart slamming against his chest, Kurt stepped out of his briefs and moved back to the bed to pull Blaine's down as well. This time, there was no pause before they were all over each other.

Hands were moving of their own accord, mouths groping at any skin they could find, and when Blaine's fingers wrapped around his hardened cock, Kurt arched his back and moaned high and loud.

"Fuck, Blaine. I _need_ you." It was true. After a year of denying himself any kind of sexual thought about Blaine, now that he had the real thing, it was something he simply could not survive without. He let his hands trail downward to grip Blaine tightly, feeling the silky skin of his cock against his soft fingers, and Blaine released a string of slurred words.

" _OhmygodKurtthatfeelssogoodpleasedon'tstop_."

Tears gathered in the corners of Kurt's eyes at the feeling of the greatest intimacy he had ever experienced, amplified thousandfold by their friendship.

Blaine, noticing that Kurt was beginning to cry, halted his movements.

"Is everything okay?" he asked, kissing Kurt's face sweetly. "Do you want this?"

Kurt almost laughed, because the idea that he could not want it was unthinkable. He nodded, tugging Blaine by the shoulders to lay on top of him, and thrust his hips up so his cock met Blaine's. "More than anything."

"Me too," Blaine whispered. Then he asked, with his voice laden with desire, "How do you want me?"

Kurt continued the greedy movements of his hips, but he was approaching his orgasm too quickly. "I want to ride you. If you'd like that."

Blaine groaned loudly at Kurt's words, squeezing his ass cheeks. "If—If I'd— _fuck_ ," he cried. "Of course I'd like that. _Please_. Hold on one second."

Kurt barely had time to whimper as cold air hit his skin where Blaine leaned away from him and across the bed to dig lube and a condom out of his bedside drawer before he returned to his side.

Blaine, with whom he had talked at length about his sexual experiences, to whom he had complained about everything he did not like during sex and raved about everything he did, who unfailingly and instinctively understood Kurt and his needs, was a flawless lover.

He knew Kurt liked to feel close to the person who was fingering him, so he settled on his side facing Kurt and wrapped Kurt's leg around his waist so they were face to face. He knew Kurt went crazy for kisses and kitten licks to his neck, so he never stopped all while Kurt was gasping and panting at the feeling of Blaine's fingers inside of him.

Blaine learned new things about Kurt, too, though, like how little sounds from his own mouth made Kurt buck forward into him, and that when he crooked his fingers _just so_ , Kurt would bite down on his shoulder to keep from crying out.

Kurt couldn't think straight. He was lost entirely in a haze of _BlaineBlaineBlaine_. Sweat drops formed on his forehead from the exertion of holding himself together when it would be so easy to fall apart under Blaine's gentle touch. He couldn't, though. He wanted — no, _needed_ — to last, to experience everything Blaine had to offer.

Blaine had three fingers gliding easily in and out of him, Kurt pushing back urgently to drive them deeper, when he inched away from Blaine's face.

"I'm ready. Lean against the headboard." The yearning he heard dripping from his own voice surprised him. He'd never wanted anyone so desperately before. The sense of need was doing crazy things to his body, but he was just fine with that.

Silently obeying, Blaine scrambled up in the bed and watched in awe as Kurt rolled the condom on him and spread lube along his length. He could not keep his hands off Kurt, even as he did it, fingers finding purchase in Kurt's now mussed hair.

Neither man could stop watching the other; admiring how his muscles rippled under his skin or eyeing a particular spot he so badly wanted to taste. As Kurt crawled across Blaine's lap and positioned himself on his knees with one leg on either side of Blaine's waist, he knew that sex with Blaine was a once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing. There was no way he would ever feel like this again with any other man. Against his primal instinct to take Blaine in one quick movement, he slowly sank down on him. Kurt tried his hardest to keep his eyes open so that he could see the ecstasy flooding Blaine's face, so that he did not miss one second of watching Blaine's reaction to him, but it proved to be near impossible. The pleasure was blinding, and Kurt's eyes fluttered closed as he reverently whispered Blaine's name.

It took him no time at all to adjust to Blaine's size, as if his body was opening itself up for him, and he soon began moving in a quick yet careful rhythm. Kurt's hands rested on Blaine's shoulders, fingers digging into the skin there until he was sure it would bruise, but Blaine was not complaining.

There was nothing rushed and no shortcuts were taken; the boys wanted to enjoy every last second of each other. Blaine was spouting off a pretty constant stream of nonsense by that point, each half-formed word shooting straight to Kurt's core, where the heat built with every passing minute.

The feel of Blaine below him, in front of him, inside of him, was beyond compare, and it was clear that Blaine felt the same, making the experience all the better.

Blaine's hands gripped his hips to guide him up and down, but their presence there was unnecessary, as Kurt had naturally found the perfect rhythm for both of them.

Thighs burning, heat intensifying, and Blaine's babbling increasing in volume and quantity, Kurt quickened his pace.

"Oh, fucking hell...Jesus Christ, Kurt...I can't— I'm going to come."

Kurt released Blaine's shoulder and grabbed for his hand to move it to his cock to help bring him to orgasm.

Blaine shifted his hips, and he hit Kurt's prostate, sending him into a flash of exploding white stars behind his eyelids as he came across Blaine's chest. "Yes, Blaine," he moaned, continuing to ride him until he felt Blaine tighten and release, his string of jargon morphing into a series of small _Kurts_.

Eventually, Kurt stilled his movements, but remained atop Blaine, just gazing into his eyes. He moved without words, closing the distance between his and Blaine's heaving chests and hugging him close, still connected in the most intimate way possible. His mind was still spinning at what had happened, and probably would not stop for days.

After a long while in each other's arms, Kurt pulled back just enough to see Blaine's face.

Tears sparkled in Kurt's eyes, and Blaine's eyes shone as well, though Kurt was unsure if his tears were the result of his own emotions, or if they were simply mimicking Kurt's.

"Are you okay? How was it?" Blaine asked nervously, patting at Kurt's lower back.

One tear ran free down his cheek. "It was perfect. The missing piece I've been searching for...I think it's been here all along."

 

* * *

 

Though they had fallen asleep tangled together in Blaine's bed, Kurt awoke alone and cold the next morning, but the smell of breakfast cooking wafted through the air, letting him know exactly where he could find Blaine.

 _Blaine_. Just thinking his name brought back everything from the night before, causing Kurt to blush and butterflies to form in his stomach. He smiled to himself as he remembered that he and Blaine had had sex. And that it had been fucking mind blowing.

Stumbling into the kitchen after pulling on a pair of Blaine's sweatpants, he came up behind Blaine, who was making eggs and potatoes, kissing him on the shoulder as they did in greeting every morning.

Blaine shivered under the kiss and more memories of Blaine shivering beneath him assaulted Kurt's brain. He had not been sure how Blaine would react this morning, since their activities the previous evening had not been premeditated, but he smiled hugely upon Kurt's greeting, and said good morning with a hint of something new in his voice, and all of Kurt's worries vanished.

"Thanks for making breakfast. I'll get coffee started." Blaine nodded his assent.

"We missed the whole midnight thing last night. So...happy new year."

"Happy new year. Best year yet for us?" Kurt asked, holding out his cup, which Blaine tapped with his own. Shortly after, he served their breakfast, and they ate while they chatted about nothing in particular, sneaking glances at each other whenever they could. It all felt so domestic and comfortable, and Kurt found it hard believe the turn his life had taken.

After breakfast, Blaine jumped in the shower, leaving Kurt to read on the couch. Blaine's phone buzzed with an incoming text, which Kurt answered like he normally would. It was from Connor, the guy Blaine was supposed to meet up with for coffee that afternoon, confirming the time and place.

Blaine walked out of the bathroom fully dressed, which was unusual for him, and he looked guilty upon seeing Kurt.

"Hey, Anderson. Connor texted you. You need to tell him you have to cancel your date."

Blaine turned away, busying himself with putting his clothes in the laundry hamper. "Uh, no. Don't worry about it. I'll still go meet him."

"What?" Kurt's knees almost gave out. The night they had shared, everything that had happened between them, and Blaine was going on a date with another guy?

Still without turning back to him, Blaine said, "Yeah, he seems like a nice guy. It's just coffee." He finally turned in Kurt's direction with a half smile on his face. "I'll be home for dinner."

Kurt was still stunned. "Blaine, I don't—"

"It'll be fine," Blaine said with finality, turning back away from him, but not before Kurt caught the pained, pinched expression on his face.

"I'll be in my room," Kurt told him in a tight voice before slipping away behind the door.

What had happened? Last night had been the best night of his life, and he was sure Blaine had thought so too. This morning had even been something out of a dream. What had gone wrong?

Kurt sighed. Maybe he was blowing things out of proportion. After all, Blaine said it was just coffee and he'd be home for dinner...suddenly, Kurt was determined. He would show Blaine that they belonged together, that nobody else could stand up to what they had.

 

* * *

 

An hour later, he heard the apartment door closing, and he got to work. He stepped out to make a few stops, then came back to the apartment and began cooking. He made caprese chicken, which was Blaine's favorite, and baked apple crisp, since he knew Blaine couldn't resist the cinnamon flavored dessert. Then he set the table with tall candles and dimmed the lights, followed by filling two glasses with their favorite red wine. It may have been cliché, but he and Blaine always talked about how romantic the idea of a candlelit dinner was, and Kurt was determined to give it to him.

Even though he'd given Blaine his birthday gift the day before, Kurt placed a small wrapped box on the table, containing a thin, brown leather strap bracelet. He'd had it stamped on the inside with a tiny _KH_ with a heart next to the initials. It was exactly Blaine's style, and this way, he could always keep Kurt close to him. He smiled happily at the setup.

Everything was perfect. He set his phone to play a playlist of romantic songs and served the dinner onto their plates. All that was left was to wait for Blaine.

So he waited, sitting expectantly at the table with his chin in his hands.

But Blaine didn't come.

Just when he was pulling out his phone to ask Blaine where he was, a text came through.

_From Blaine: Date went well. Won't be coming home tonight. ; )_

It was that exact moment that Kurt's heart splintered into a billion pieces.

His head fell to the table and he wailed in agony, at the loss of the impossibly perfect life he had almost had.

He had no way of knowing that just outside the front window, Blaine watched him, his own tears streaming down his face.

 

* * *

 

Things went back to normal after that. Blaine came home the next morning and acted as though nothing had ever happened between the two of them. The only thing that was ever said about it again came later that afternoon, when Kurt walked in on Blaine crying in his bedroom.

Alarmed, he went immediately to his side to comfort him, calming him down as only Kurt could.

"I have to have you in my life. I can't do anything to fuck it up. You're my best friend."

The rest of his words were drowned in a sea of tears, which he cried out while Kurt rocked him to sleep. Only after Blaine was long asleep did Kurt notice that Blaine had found the package he had left for him on the counter, and had snapped the bracelet around his wrist, where it still sat. Kurt could not resist pressing a kiss to the soft leather.

If Blaine wanted to pretend like nothing ever happened, if Blaine needed him to be just his best friend, if Blaine asked Kurt to sacrifice his life for him, Kurt would do it. Because Kurt would give anything to make Blaine happy, even if it destroyed him in the process.

 

* * *

 

Blaine had been right. Connor was a nice guy. He was almost _too_ nice.

From the moment he and Blaine began dating, Connor was around constantly. He was always buying things for Blaine, taking him on dates to new places, and acting like a complete gentleman, if not quite possessive. The way he regarded Blaine, though, was practically predatory, and Kurt did not appreciate it.

In the beginning, Connor spent near excessive amounts of time with Kurt, too, which Blaine loved, because the two men in his life were spending time together.

But Connor's perfect boyfriend act began to slip in ways that were unnoticeable to Blaine, but glaringly obvious to Kurt. It soon became apparent that Kurt was suspicious of Connor's motives, so Connor backed off and began spending less and less time at their house.

That, of course, meant that Blaine was around less, and Kurt missed him. They had even fought about it once or twice, the argument only ending in Blaine asserting that Connor was great, and them both agreeing that Kurt was overly protective of Blaine. If Blaine swore that Connor treated him right and that he was happy, how could Kurt argue?

As for Kurt, after his night with Blaine, he couldn't bring himself to date anyone else. He'd had a glimpse of how good life could be, and it was painful to pretend that anything else could ever stand up to being with Blaine.

Kurt was okay, though. Wary of Blaine's relationship, maybe, but his and Blaine's friendship was stronger than ever, and he was focusing on his fashion design and excelling in school. Things were perfectly back to normal between him and Blaine, except that they rarely spoke openly about sex anymore, and for that, Kurt was eternally grateful. If he had to hear about someone else touching the body that he had once worshipped, or hear about Blaine doing things to another that Kurt could now only dream about Blaine doing to him, it would be far too much. Aside from that, though, Blaine was happy, and therefore, Kurt was happy.

Despite Blaine's assertion that he was happy with Connor, and his pretending that nothing had happened between himself and Kurt, only one thing kept Kurt hanging on by a single strand of hope: Blaine never once removed the bracelet Kurt had given him.


	3. Junior Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy (almost) Friday! I apologize for the angstiness of this chapter. Be warned that there is psychological abuse depicted. Not between Kurt and Blaine, of course. Please don’t hate me. You know I’ll deliver in the end.  
> Thank you all for the amazing response to this story so far. I appreciate each and every one of you. xo

 

Junior year began with both boys buried in schoolwork. Kurt was building his portfolio in preparation for applying for summer internships (and he was going _hard_ , because he wanted to land the coveted position with a biggest label in Milan), and Blaine was balancing his classes with classroom observations to decide what age group he wanted to specialize in for his teaching degree.

Blaine was still seeing Connor, and Kurt was still not seeing anyone, and with everything Blaine had on his plate plus a boyfriend, he had hardly seen Kurt at all by the time September was over.

Kurt didn't say anything; he never complained to Blaine much at all, but Blaine could tell Kurt was feeling lonely and wanted time with his friend, so he told Connor he needed a night to spend alone with Kurt. Connor did not easily acquiesce, but Blaine stood his ground, leading to their first big fight.

 

* * *

 

_From Blaine: Break out the popcorn and the chocolate covered peanuts...it's movie night! I'll be home by 5._

Kurt grinned hugely at the unexpected text from his best friend that came through just as he hopped off the subway. His interactions with Blaine now consisted mostly of passing comments and brief hugs here and there as they came and went since they were both so busy. It helped that if Blaine was home and hadn't spent the night with Connor, they always had breakfast together, and at night, he always played guitar for Kurt as he read before bed, but they both severely missed the quality time they used to share in abundance. So when Blaine texted that they were having a movie night, Kurt was ecstatic, even if it did include Connor.

He was ready and waiting on the couch with two movies pre-selected and a variety of popcorn and candy on the coffee table by the time Blaine walked through the door.

"Hey Hummel," Blaine called as he hung up his jacket and bookbag. "I'm going to change and I'll be right out." He bounced excitedly down the hall to his room and was back in under a minute.

Kurt scrutinized his attire with pursed lips. "Excuse me, is that my favorite sweatshirt you're wearing? And the wool socks my grandmother sent me?"

Blaine shrugged, flopping down on the couch right next to him. "Not sorry. Especially since my favorite sweatpants have been inexplicably missing for the past couple of weeks…" He lifted the blanket around Kurt's lap and gave a smug smile. "Thought so."

"Like you said. Not sorry." Kurt held out his arms to welcome Blaine into a hug, murmuring "I missed you," and noticed when Blaine breathed what seemed to be a sigh of relief at being enveloped in his best friend's arms.

"God, I've missed you too. I'm sorry I haven't been around much. Do you want to talk and catch up first or watch the movie first? I was hoping maybe we could watch something funny tonight. Something classic, like _Young Frankenstein_?"

Laughing, Kurt grabbed one of the DVDs he'd chosen for the night, showing Blaine the cover. "Great minds think alike! When is Connor getting here?" he asked, trying to hide his distaste.

Blaine gave him a weird look. "He's not coming. Tonight is just for us."

Kurt's heart swelled so big it could have popped.

"Just us?" The hope and excitement in his voice turned Blaine's expression into a strange mix between love and sadness.

"Just us."

"Connor didn't mind you ditching him?"

Blaine's shoulders tensed incrementally and his voice was taut when he spoke. "It doesn't really matter. He doesn't have a say in when I choose to spend time with my best friend."

Kurt could tell he did not want to talk about it, so he grabbed a handful of chocolate covered peanuts and tossed one up in the air for Blaine to catch in his mouth.

"You'll never guess what Mike did last night…"

It felt so nice to spend time how they always used to, cuddled together and chatting about anything and everything on their minds.

It wasn't even midnight when Blaine fell asleep with his head on a pillow in Kurt's lap, soothed by Kurt's fingers in his hair. Even in his sleep, Blaine's hand clasped onto Kurt in a vice grip, unwilling to let him go.

 

* * *

 

Dressing as each other for Halloween had become something of a tradition for Kurt and Blaine, and this year, they hosted a party for all of their friends.

Everyone was having a blast between the dancing in the living room, the beer pong in the dining room, and a rowdy card game in a corner that was starting to look suspiciously like strip Go Fish.

Kurt let loose for the first time all semester, glad to relieve some of the tension he'd built up over his classes and Blaine and the future. He flitted around from dancing with anyone who wanted a turn to refilling drinks to joining in the Go Fish game, though he quit as soon as he started losing.

Jeff caught him for a dance, finding space in the living room next to Tina and Blaine, who were also dancing.

Kurt shot a look at Blaine to silently ask "where's Connor?" since he knew Connor did not like sharing Blaine's time and presence with anyone else, and Blaine shrugged in response, happy to be free to dance with Tina.

Kurt briefly considered cutting in and asking for a dance with Blaine, but he decided against it, remembering the last time they danced together at last year's end of the semester bash, when he had been both extremely turned on and sad that he couldn't have Blaine that he had ended up crying and jerking off simultaneously in the bathroom.

Trying to forget how badly he wanted to be pressed against Blaine's body, he passed a very drunk Jeff off to Nick, shouting over the music that he needed to get something, when what he really needed was just a few minutes alone in the quiet atmosphere of his bedroom.

When Kurt tried turning the handle on his door, however, he found it locked. He thought he heard the bed creaking and grunts from the other side, but it was difficult to localize and differentiate the sounds with the loud music and people shouting all over the place. Kurt growled in frustration, hitting the door with his fists.

"Get out of my room, _now_!"

Nobody moved to unlock the door, so he banged on it again. "I'll wait out here until you're finished."

A few seconds later, the door opened to reveal Connor and another guy. Kurt automatically took a step toward him, alarm bells sounding in his head.

" _What the hell were you doing in there_?" His voice was laden with fury as he regarded Connor, and his hands clenched at his sides. The question was not even accusatory; it sounded as if Kurt had already convicted him.

"I was showing him my incision from a surgery I had recently," the other man said breezily as he walked past Kurt and Connor and back to the party.

Connor, who was in his first year of medical school, nodded. "He was."

" _Like hell he was_ ," Kurt spat.

But Connor had a genuine look on his face that threw Kurt for a loop. He took Kurt's hands and smiled gently, his charm persuasive.

"Why would I lie to you about this? You know I love Blaine very much. Please believe me."

Kurt, feeling emotional whiplash, allowed the explanation, because Blaine, too, always pointed out how much Connor loved him. And further, why would Connor want to cheat on Blaine? Blaine was everything. Anyone who cheated on Blaine would be a fool. He pulled his hands away from Connor's and walked backward, temporarily appeased, but remaining suspicious.

"Fine. But I'll be watching you. You should know that with me as his best friend, nobody gets away with fucking with Blaine's heart."

 

* * *

 

The signs were subtle at first. It was in the way dark circles began forming under Blaine's eyes, the way he started questioning himself, the way he grew testier every day, even while talking to Kurt. It was gradual, but Kurt was watching Blaine transform before his eyes, and not for the better. Kurt watched for any signs that Connor could be hurting him, even going so far as to "accidentally" walk in on Blaine in the bathroom to look over his body for bruises or marks, but there were none.

A few weeks after the Halloween party, Blaine came home unexpectedly early from a dinner date with Connor, looking quite visibly put out.

"What's wrong?" Kurt asked with concern. "You don't even want a glass of wine? I bought this kind just because I know you like it."

"I'm sorry. Something Connor said tonight just irritated me. Hence why I'm here and not having a night of nonstop sex like I had planned," Blaine growled in frustration as he slammed his bag down on the kitchen counter.

Kurt backed away slowly, throwing his hands up in surrender. "Whoa. Okay. I'll leave you alone. You know where to find me if you need anything."

An hour later, a freshly showered and apologetic Blaine crawled into bed with Kurt and wrapped his arms around him.

"Hey," Kurt whispered, turning over so he could try to make out Blaine's face in the darkness.

Blaine sniffled, causing Kurt to pull him in close.

"Do you think I was wrong to go into teaching?"

"What?" Kurt was shocked. "Where is this coming from, Anderson? You've always been so sure of your career path."

"I know, but...do you think teaching little ones is a soft profession? Is it the easy way out? Should a man be teaching in a special education preschool classroom, or is that embarrassing?"

"Did someone say those things to you?" Kurt asked. Then, with more outrage, "Did _Connor_ say those things to you?"

Blaine shook his head minutely. "It doesn't matter. Never mind. Forget I said anything."

Kurt nuzzled into Blaine's chest, sliding a finger repeatedly over his leather bracelet, which grew softer all the time from Blaine and Kurt's constant touches to it.

"Okay, but just so you know...wrangling a class of fifteen preschoolers with various disabilities is not for the faint of heart. You have to be flexible, dynamic, compassionate, and tough all at once. You are all of those things and more. It takes a very special person to teach, and especially to teach little ones. You _are_ that special person."

Blaine's hand grasped Kurt's and he held on tightly while he let out another sniffle. "Okay."

Kurt kissed the top of his head softly. "Love you."

"Love you, too."

They fell asleep that night wrapped up in each other, all thoughts of Connor's words erased, if only just for a few hours.

 

* * *

 

By Thanksgiving, things had gotten progressively worse, and Kurt had had it with Connor. Blaine was spending more time at Connor's apartment, and when he did come home, he always looked like something was wrong. He was not sleeping as well, and always had bags beneath his sad eyes. As little as Kurt had seen of him, their friends had seen even less, and Blaine made no effort to stay in touch. Even Blaine's parents talked to Kurt more than they talked to him.

Kurt only ever wanted what was best for Blaine, and this was not it.

"This will be my last trip home for the holidays," Blaine explained out of nowhere to Kurt over breakfast one morning.

Kurt dropped his spoon in surprise, splashing milk droplets all over the table.

"What do you mean?"

Blaine shrugged, looking tired. "Connor says he and I are a family now, and doesn't think it's necessary for me to make the trip anymore. He's so busy with med school that we need to use all the time we can get together, and need to start saving money to pay off his loans."

Kurt was flabbergasted. "Blaine. I don't—I don't even know what to say."

Blaine glared down at his cereal. "Just don't."

"Please. You know your mom has been worried about you…"

"I said don't." Blaine pushed back from the table abruptly, causing the juice to slosh over the sides of their cups, and he disappeared into the bathroom.

Kurt didn't know what to do. He didn't know what he _could_ do. Then inspiration struck. He would have to start planning right away, but there was something he needed to do first.

Blaine clearly wanted to be alone, so Kurt pulled out his phone and texted Blaine a picture of the two of them with Carole and Burt and their new puppy from early last summer.

_From Kurt: You're my family too, you know._

 

* * *

 

Christmas vacation was sad for Kurt that year, for Blaine had, true to his word, not traveled home with him. Kurt spent a good portion of each day of break texting Blaine and talking to him on the phone to make up for the void he'd created by staying in New York, and also, if Kurt was being honest, to check up on him.

Blaine was withdrawn most days now, preferring to keep to himself. His friends outside of Kurt and very occasionally Nick, had stopped reaching out to him, and when Kurt asked Blaine about it, he shrugged it off.

The only two times Kurt saw light in Blaine's eyes anymore were when the two of them were able to spend time together alone, and when he was playing his music, so he tried to give Blaine both as often as possible.

Kurt had been planning his big surprise for a while now, and he could not wait to see the look on Blaine's face when he arrived back at their house on the 26th with the Andersons in tow.

The house looked lonely when they pulled up, and Kurt hoped that Blaine didn't feel as alone as it appeared he might, but Connor's car was in the driveway, so at least he had him. _For whatever that's worth_ , Kurt thought bitterly.

He left Blaine's parents, laden with gifts, out of sight and rang the doorbell. He had ensured that Blaine would be home that morning instead of at Connor's apartment by telling him he was having a package delivered that Blaine needed to be home to accept.

Blaine opened the door, face grim and sad, but as soon as he realized it was Kurt on the porch, he lit up. He immediately scooped Kurt into his arms for a huge hug.

"Are you okay?" Kurt spoke softly into Blaine's hair, posing the question he had been asking far too often lately.

"You're here," he said simply, as if Kurt's presence solved everything.

"Yeah, well you know what's better than just me?" Kurt teased as he stepped away and motioned for the Andersons to come into view.

"Dad! Mama!" Blaine squealed, running to hug and kiss his parents, forcing them to drop the gifts they were holding. Kurt bent down to collect them and bring in the house, unable to wipe the smile from his face. "What are you doing here?"

Mrs. Anderson smiled, patting Kurt's arm. "Someone thought it might be nice for us to make the trip since you couldn't come home this year. This was all his doing."

Blaine made eye contact with Kurt and sent a silent "thank you."

"So where is this Connor we keep hearing about?" Mr. Anderson asked.

"I'm right here," Connor's voice floated in from the hallway, where he had just emerged from the bathroom. "What's going on?"

Blaine jumped up with wide eyes, as if he hadn't yet realized that his parents being there meant they would be meeting Connor for the first time. He wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans and introduced them.

Kurt thought, not for the first time, that this might be his chance to help persuade Blaine that Connor was no good for him. If Mrs. Anderson saw what Kurt saw (and she would, she was very observant), he might have someone else to help Blaine understand that he could do so much better. But right in front of his eyes, Connor dialed his charm to a sickening level, and never once showed the Andersons so much as a glimpse of the concerning hold he had over Blaine.

They all spent the day together watching Christmas movies, cooking, and eating a large dinner, and in the evening, they exchanged gifts. It warmed Kurt to the core to watch how happy Blaine was, flanked by his parents, the sparkle back in his eyes, even if only for one day.

Blaine surprised everyone by announcing that he wanted to end the night by playing a song he had been working on. Everyone gathered around the piano as Blaine sat and warmed up, chatting jovially and patting their full bellies.

"I wrote this song for someone special. Someone who changed my life," Blaine said shyly, looking down at his hands.

"Aww babe, you shouldn't have," Connor preened from his position on a nearby chair.

Blaine merely smiled, but his eyes flicked up almost imperceptibly to Kurt and back down again.

As he began playing, Kurt immediately recognized the chords as something Blaine had been working on long before Connor came into his life. He watched with rapt attention as Blaine's fingers flew over the keys and his voice soared effortlessly, mouth falling open slightly in amazement. He always loved to watch Blaine play because of the way he lost himself in the music and looked absolutely angelic while he did. Sometimes the two of them would sing together or Kurt would sing while Blaine played, but in Kurt's mind, nothing could beat Blaine like this, performing with his entire being.

The song ended with a warbling note, eliciting applause from everyone in the room.

"That was wonderful, honey. The perfect ending to the perfect day. Now, your father and I are going to go to bed, if you don't mind. We've had a long day of traveling."

"Not at all. Let me go get my bed made up for you!"

"I'll help you," Connor offered. "And then I have to go."

"You aren't staying?" Blaine pouted.

"Sorry, babe. I start a new rotation in the morning."

"I'm sure Kurt would let us have his bed since my parents are staying in mine."

They bickered back and forth as they disappeared down the hallway and into Blaine's room, shutting the door behind them.

Kurt said goodnight to Mr. and Mrs. Anderson and went to his own room.

The walls between his room and Blaine's were paper thin (which had became immediately apparent the first time one of them brought a date back to the house), and though he had perfected the ability to block out any noises from Blaine's room most of the time, Kurt was exhausted and running at half brain power at that moment. He was not trying to eavesdrop, he really wasn't, but it was impossible not to hear the conversation next door.

"About your song, Blaine..." Connor started.

"I've been working on it for a long time. Did you like it?" Kurt could hear the hopefulness in Blaine's voice.

"That's what I want to talk to you about. I didn't think it was...you know I love you, right?" Blaine must have nodded. "Good. It's just that — please don't get upset — your music isn't very good. I'm sorry, babe. I think maybe it's time you step back from this music hobby. Your songs aren't extraordinary enough to take you anywhere, so it's just taking up your valuable time. Time that you could be spending on more important things. Like me."

"I don't…but it makes me happy. You really didn't like it?" The sadness in Blaine's voice was heart wrenching. Kurt wanted to bust through the wall and take Blaine into his arms and somehow prove to him how good his music was.

"I'm sorry. I really think you should say goodbye to your music for good."

Kurt couldn't hear Blaine's response. He was shaking with rage at Connor. How dare he tell Blaine to stop playing music? It was one of the few things left that really brought him joy. He'd taken away Blaine's friends, was trying to take away his family, and now his music? Kurt vowed to do everything in his power to counteract Connor's words.

He curled up in bed with Elizabeth II (who Blaine had passed off to him when he thought Connor might judge him for still sleeping with a stuffed animal). He faced the wall and focused on his breathing as he half-listened to the sounds of Mr. and Mrs. Anderson getting ready for bed and Connor leaving.

Sleep had almost taken him when he heard Blaine carefully come in and slip into bed behind him, trying not to jostle the mattress too much. He felt Blaine's arms circle around him and hug Elizabeth II to Kurt's chest. Hot, wet, silent tears stained the back of Kurt's T-shirt.

"That song wasn't for Connor, was it?" Kurt asked quietly into the darkness. He felt Blaine shake his head. Kurt's hands came up to hold Blaine's against the stuffed dog and his chest.

"I consider it a _fucking honor,_ Blaine, to have something so beautiful dedicated to me."

Blaine's gasp of breath stopped his heart for a second.

"You were breathtaking while you played tonight. You always are. Your music is incomparable. Please don't ever stop."

Blaine couldn't answer through the thick tears pouring down his face, but he squeezed Kurt tighter, and when Kurt turned his head, Blaine lifted up and kissed the corner of his mouth.

They switched places so that Kurt could hold Blaine while he cried himself to sleep, battling between the life he wanted and the life he led.

As hard as Kurt tried to prove to Blaine that Connor was wrong over the next few days and weeks, he did not hear Blaine play again.

 

* * *

 

Kurt had had enough. Connor was ruining Blaine. In the span of a few short months, he had watched Blaine turn from the lively, excitable guy he knew and loved into a more subdued, unhappier version of himself. And Kurt was determined to put an end to it if it killed him.

It was one of the rare nights he had Blaine to himself, so he capitalized on the opportunity.

They ordered in, and over dinner, Kurt nervously approached the subject.

"Anderson, we need to talk."

Blaine sighed, his eyes falling shut as he set his fork down in preparation.

"About Connor?"

"About Connor."

"I already know what you're going to say."

"Do you?"

"That he's not good for me. That you think I should reevaluate our relationship and take a step away from him. That I deserve better." Blaine paused, lifted his eyes to bore straight into Kurt's, and continued. "Well you know what, Kurt? You are a little biased on the matter. You're my best friend; the person who gets me better than anyone does and better than anyone ever will. But you don't understand this. You put me on this pedestal like I'm perfect and I don't deserve to be there. Nobody else feels the way you do. That's pretty clear by how every guy I've ever dated has dumped me within two months of dating me because of how clingy or intense or needy I was. Every guy except for Connor. So forgive me for sticking with him, but he's the only person I've dated who wants me for me."

Kurt was stunned into silence. "You look exhausted, Blaine," he said when he could finally speak again. "You always do, and you don't ever do anything that makes you happy anymore. Why don't you—"

"Because I can't. I don't have the energy to fight it. I put every last ounce that I have left into fighting to keep you in my life. And you're something I will never let go of. So please. _Please_ don't ask me to stop."

Kurt lost it at that, at the thought that Blaine was destroying himself trying to fight his abusive boyfriend to stop him from banning him from seeing Kurt. _Abusive_. Suddenly it struck him. Kurt had looked for the physical signs, but it wasn't physical at all. Connor was abusing Blaine emotionally, and Blaine couldn't see it.

He cried into his hands long and hard, Blaine watching half helplessly, half despairingly. Blaine finally stood and rounded the table to drape his arms around Kurt from behind, nuzzling into his neck and breathing in deeply.

Kurt turned slowly then pulled Blaine into his lap.

"For the record," Kurt spoke into Blaine's shoulder, "I don't think you're perfect. You hate banana bread, you never put my things back where they belong when you borrow them, and you're, like, twenty-five minutes early everywhere you go."

Blaine choked out a wet laugh and sagged into him, wiping at his eyes.

"Why are you crying?" Kurt asked gently.

Blaine shrugged. "I always cry when you cry. It's like a reflex; I can't help it. It hurts me to see you hurting."

So low that Blaine almost missed it, Kurt muttered, "How do you think I feel every day?"

Blaine only hugged him tighter at that, letting him know what he instinctively already knew, which was that no matter how bad things became for him, if he was in Kurt's arms, he could survive.

 

* * *

 

The first time Connor and Blaine argued so badly that Blaine threatened to leave him was after Connor broke Blaine's trust by violating his privacy.

Blaine had come home to Connor's apartment after a long day at school to find Connor and two of his friends surrounding the television, immersed in whatever they were watching. He was bummed that they had company, since he had been looking forward to just relaxing with Connor for the night. He was unhappy more often than not these days, but he still enjoyed spending time with his boyfriend.

"Hey guys," Blaine greeted. "What are you watching?"

"Just a little video I made," Connor responded with a smirk. "Come see."

Blaine rounded the corner to the living room and what he saw made him feel sick.

The guys had been watching a recording of the two of them having sex. Blaine hadn't even been aware that Connor had recorded them together and was taken aback that he would show something so private to his friends.

Turning off the television in a panic, Blaine chased Connor's friends out of the apartment and confronted him.

"How dare you do that to me!"

"Calm down, Blaine, it's not a big deal," Connor blew him off.

"Maybe not to you, but it is to me. When I'm intimate with my partner, those moments are only for him and I to share. Not anyone else. Especially when I never gave my consent to be filmed in the first place. I don't want you to do anything like this again."

"You're being ridiculous, Blaine, and extremely selfish. Sometimes you need to put other people's desires before your own. The video was hot."

"I can't believe you!" Blaine shouted, finally breaking. "This is inexcusable. I'm leaving, and you'll be lucky if you ever see me again!"

He had stormed out of Connor's apartment and now was on the bathroom floor of his own, having never made it to the shower he had planned to take.

"Blaine? Are you here? Where are you?" Kurt called when he arrived home. He found Blaine by the bathtub, knees curled up under his chin, not crying, but looking extremely distraught.

Wordlessly, he fell to his knees and sat right next to Blaine so their hips, shoulders, and knees were touching.

"He recorded us having sex without my consent and was watching it with his friends," Blaine admitted, shame coloring his face.

"Shit, Blaine," Kurt whispered, wrapping his arm around Blaine's bent knee and laying his cheek there to look up into Blaine's eyes. The physical contact seemed to calm Blaine, and he spoke with a quivering lip.

"I told him I don't know if I can go back to him."

Those words were everything Kurt had been longing to hear for an entire year, and he had always thought he'd feel a tidal wave of hope and relief upon hearing them. But in this situation, he couldn't feel happy about it. He couldn't feel selfish, could never take any joy in the moment, because Blaine had been hurt and was still hurting.

Kurt bit his tongue, because Blaine already knew everything he would have said, and he did not need an "I told you so" from his best friend just then.

Instead, he pulled Blaine up by the hand and led him to the couch, where he helped Blaine out of the jeans he wore and slipped off his own so that they could cuddle up and fall asleep to reruns of Dance Moms, which they both secretly loved.

Under the blanket their warm legs tangled together as Kurt spooned up behind Blaine.

Every so often, Blaine took a shuddering breath and Kurt pulled him in closer or brushed his fingers across the tear tracks on Blaine's cheeks.

"You never have to see him again," Kurt soothed. "It's just you and me against the world."

Blaine turned around to face Kurt and slowly, deliberately, kissed him. Kurt felt a million emotions all at once, but he could not focus on anything except for Blaine's mouth back on his, where it belonged.

The kisses were simple: long, drawn out gestures without much movement. They were comfort-seeking kisses, and they did their job. Lip-to-lip, both boys felt at home.

They fell asleep like that, lips nearly touching, but when Kurt woke up the next morning, Blaine was missing, leaving behind only a note.

 

* * *

 

Blaine went back to Connor every time. He had a way of convincing Blaine that their arguments were his fault, which always led to Blaine crawling back and asking for his forgiveness, much to Kurt's disgust.

Things worsened with the two boyfriends — Connor pushing Blaine into things he didn't want or taking him away from things he did want, and Blaine frequently came home to Kurt after stomping out and threatening to leave Connor for good.

Those nights mostly ended the same; with Blaine seeking out Kurt's comfort in the form of cuddles and kisses. It never went beyond that, but it was exactly enough for Blaine.

Kurt told himself it wasn't cheating. Not really, because Blaine had tentatively broken up with Connor each time before he came home. What killed Kurt was no matter how much love he put into his kisses, how many times he told Blaine he deserved better and that Connor couldn't really love him if he treated him like that, Blaine went back to Connor every single time.

Kurt knew there were deep-seated issues at play for Blaine that centered around his past failed relationships, but he couldn't bear seeing Blaine get hurt over and over again.

He did what he could, though, and despite understanding that Blaine was using him (albeit not maliciously, never maliciously), he let Blaine take what he needed. When Blaine came to him on those nights, all he needed was to feel loved. Kurt, even though it killed him to be used that way, gave in every damn time because Blaine deserved to feel all the love he had to give.

Even Blaine's parents noticed something was very wrong. Mrs. Anderson, though Blaine had begun evading most of her calls, had started calling Kurt to check in. Kurt never told her what was really going on, but promised that he would always be there for Blaine.

It was nearly spring break when Kurt decided he needed to do something drastic. Blaine had to get away from Connor for a while to see the big picture. So Kurt called his dad and Carole and asked if Blaine could join them for the week at the cabin they had rented for spring break.

Blaine had not responded as enthusiastically as Kurt had hoped when he presented the invitation, and he soon found out why, through the thin walls of his bedroom.

"You are not going away with him for a whole week. You are not going away with him for a day if I can help it!" Connor roared.

"I wasn't asking your permission," Blaine said calmly, but he sounded defeated already. "I was informing you of my plans."

"I don't know why you want this, anyway," Connor said. "He's only asking you to go out of obligation. The two of you have been friends for so long that he feels like he has to. But you've changed, Blaine, and I love the person you're becoming, but I don't think Kurt likes you very much anymore. So why would you want to do this?"

"I—he...you don't think he likes me anymore?" Blaine's voice quivered.

Kurt heard a rustle that he could only assume was Connor taking Blaine into his arms.

"Not really, no. But he doesn't matter, Blaine. You have me now. You don't need anyone else. So come on, stay with me this week. Please?"

Kurt's pulse pounded in his ears as he waited for Blaine's answer.

"I'm sorry, Con. If what you say is true, then this might be the last time I get to spend with Kurt. I'm going."

"Fine. Suit yourself, but you owe me. Big time."

Kurt thought he heard Blaine whimper.

 

* * *

 

The second they hit the road to backwoods Pennsylvania, Blaine changed. He reverted back to the person Kurt used to know; someone happy and easily excitable who loved life. That was, of course, after a minor freak out where Blaine asked Kurt if they were still friends. ("The best. We always will be," Kurt had assured him.)

Kurt vowed not to even mention Connor's name once during the whole week if this was how Blaine was going to act when he was not around.

The two best friends sang loudly with the music playing in the car the whole way until their voices were hoarse, laughing and joking easily as they had always done.

It was a relief for Kurt to see Blaine acting so carefree, since he had been so upset by whatever was happening with Connor for the last year. He cherished the moments when Blaine smiled his whole-body smile, and when Blaine laughed at a joke Kurt made and could not stop, Kurt could have died a happy man.

The entire week was a dream. Kurt found himself forgetting that Connor existed at all, and it was just him and Blaine, like the old days.

They hiked (Kurt refused to wear comfortable shoes), fished (Blaine refused to touch the fish before it was cooked), went polar bearing in the lake (both refused to back down from Burt's challenge). They stayed out late stargazing, ate way too many s'mores, put together a 5000 piece puzzle, and simply spent time reconnecting with each other and with Kurt's parents. The whole trip was Kurt's idea of perfection.

On the last night of vacation, when it started to sink in that they would be returning to reality the next day, the cracks in Blaine's cheerfulness finally began to show.

Burt suggested a bonfire to celebrate a wonderful week together, and so they dutifully gathered around the blaze, Kurt only complaining briefly about the smoky smell tainting his hair. Burt and Carole were in lawn chairs and Kurt balled up against Blaine's side as they perched on a picnic blanket with a second wrapped around their shoulders. The flickering light from the fire illuminated their faces, happily exhausted from a long hike earlier in the day, and the smoke wisped around them, infusing their clothes with the nostalgia of summer days past.

"Is he asleep?" Burt asked quietly, breaking the silence. Kurt realized his dad was talking about him when Blaine nodded in confirmation. He was too sleepy to open his eyes and refute the statement, so he stayed happily curled up and let the conversation wash over him.

"He's been worried about you, ya know?" Burt asked.

Blaine tensed against him. "I know."

Kurt tried to send mental messages to his dad, begging him not to bring up Connor. They still had a five hour drive the next day without his presence looming over them. But Burt seemed not to need the warning.

"Are you happy?"

Blaine paused before answering. "Right now or in general?"

"In general."

Again, Blaine's response was carefully measured. "I should be. I have everything I wanted. A promising career ahead of me, the world's most amazing best friend and roommate, a boyfriend..."

"Does this boyfriend treat you right?" There was a definite edge of protectiveness in Burt's voice.

"He loves me."

"I see." Burt grunted in disapproval. "And right now? Are you happy?"

"Yes." Blaine's answer came instantly. "I'm never happier than when I'm with Kurt."

"I see."

"Will you stop saying that?" Blaine joked.

"I will when you see, too."

"What am I supposed to see?"

"You'll see."

Blaine laughed quietly and pulled Kurt a little closer.

 

* * *

 

Of course, even after the amazing week they'd spent together that had reinvigorated Blaine, he still went back to Connor. Kurt was close to giving up hope that they would ever break up, but he would never give up on Blaine.

Somehow, Blaine had convinced Connor to let him spend the night with Kurt, who was leaving for the big summer internship in Milan the next morning, and the two were having a throwback night where they watched all of their favorite movies from when they first met, ate all of their favorite foods, and reminisced about old stories.

Things were fantastic until Blaine received a call from Connor.

"I'm sorry, I have to take it," he smiled apologetically at Kurt. "He gets upset when I don't answer his calls."

Kurt sighed and leaned back on his bed, where they'd settled down with their Thai takeout and _Mary Poppins._

Blaine shut himself in the bathroom, but that did not stop Kurt from overhearing muffled shouting.

When Blaine returned with tears in his eyes, Kurt hesitated before opening his arms for Blaine to crawl into. He was sick of Blaine using him as someone to run to when Connor made him upset. He was sick of hearing about what Connor put him through day in and day out. But most of all, he was sick of Blaine laying down and taking it all, like he thought he wasn't worth anything more. Kurt loved Blaine, though, really, irrevocably loved him, and if Blaine didn't have him, he had nobody. So he allowed Blaine in once more.

Until Blaine reached up to kiss him.

Kurt jerked his head away. "No, Blaine."

Blaine looked shocked and rejected. "Why?"

Everything had been building inside Kurt for quite some time, and he felt his temper rising as he tried to keep it at bay. "Do you really not see what you're doing, or do you just not care?"

Blaine pulled away, confusion crossing his face. "What?"

"You're taking advantage of me because you know how I feel about you. I can't—I want to be here for you, I do. But it hurts, knowing that the only time you'll kiss me is to make yourself feel loved."

"How you feel about me? Loved? What are you talking about?" Blaine looked legitimately confused, but Kurt was having none of it.

He rolled his eyes. "Don't be stupid, Blaine."

"I mean…" Blaine was floundering, his hand wrapped tightly around Kurt's shirt to ground him. "That night...but you can't be—"

"Oh, so you do admit that night happened?! I thought I'd made it all up in my head, and it fucking _hurt_. You know what?" Kurt trailed off, shaking his head. "Leave him."

Blaine's voice was a broken whisper as his eyes stayed trained on his clenched fists. "I can't."

Kurt swallowed hard. "He's abusing you, Blaine."

Blaine jumped at that. "No. He's never laid a finger on me!"

Kurt gripped his arms tightly, shaking Blaine gently. "It doesn't matter. He's abusing you psychologically. Don't you see it?"

Blaine stared blankly. Nearly a minute passed in complete silence.

"Do you love him? Connor?" Kurt asked, deathly quiet.

"He loves me."

"That's not an answer. Do you love him?" He asked again, a little louder, growing angrier with each passing second.

Blaine looked desperate. He was practically ripping Kurt's shirt where he held it, but like a broken record, he could only repeat the same three words. "He loves me."

Kurt pushed Blaine away from him lightly and stood up just off the bed. "Answer the goddamn question, Blaine!"

Before his eyes, Blaine broke down. Kurt hadn't ever yelled at him before. His whole body shook and he curled in on himself, his face the picture of agony.

"If..If I leave him, who else could possibly love me?"

"Me! I could!" Kurt shouted. Then quieter, "I do."

His words echoed through the thick air between them as neither boy so much as breathed.

Kurt backed away slowly, leaving Blaine in a heap on his bed and locking himself in the bathroom.

That night, he tossed and turned on the couch, expecting Blaine to come to his senses and join him at some point to apologize, but he never did.

And in the morning, while Blaine was still sleeping, Kurt loaded his suitcases into a cab and left for the airport, where he would soon depart for his dream internship, only planning to return three months later.

Blaine never called. Kurt never called him.

Those were the worst three months of Kurt's life.


	4. Senior Year

Interning at a major fashion label in Milan had been a dream come true for Kurt. He had made priceless connections, good friends, and memories to last a lifetime, but underneath it all, he mourned the loss of his best friend.

Every day that passed without Blaine was miserable for Kurt. Though he attempted to make the most out of his work abroad, he could not forget the nagging presence of the hole in his heart. As much as he hated to admit it, the time away had been good for Kurt. He was able to step back and take a new perspective on their relationship, and in the course of it all, had forgiven Blaine for the pain he had caused.

Despite the forgiveness, though, Kurt still needed to protect his heart, so he vowed two things to himself. The first that he would make sure Blaine started seeing a therapist. That one would be easy. If Kurt suggested it, Blaine would go. The second vow would be slightly more problematic. He promised to stop holding out hope that Blaine could ever want to be with him. He would cut himself off from that daydream and move on, to avoid further heartbreak.

The plane ride back to New York was anxiety-filled, to say the least. Kurt did not know what he would find when he returned home. Would Blaine have moved out over the summer? Would he have moved Kurt's things out? Would he be there, willing to talk things over? Would Connor be there? But most importantly, would Blaine be okay?

Kurt knew Blaine was holding up, or at least holding on, because he had been in constant contact with Nick, whose sole responsibility (according to Kurt) was to check in on Blaine's well-being, but aside from that, he knew nothing.

After paying the cab driver, Kurt wheeled his suitcase up the sidewalk and held his breath as he unlocked and opened the door. Connor's car was not in the driveway, which Kurt took as a positive sign.

Looking around, a smile spread across Kurt's face. The house looked more or less the same as it had when he left, but sitting on the dining room table was a vase of white lilies (the national flower of Italy) and a funfetti cake (Kurt's secret favorite) that had the words "Welcome Home Hummel" spelled out in sprinkles across the frosting.

"Blaine?" he called, the happiness unmistakable in his voice and on his face.

He heard a door fly open. "Kurt? Is that you?" came Blaine's voice, accompanied by the sound of feet running down the hall.

Blaine skidded around the corner and to a stop just in front of Kurt. Kurt bit his lip to keep from gasping. Blaine looked horrible. His eyes were sunken and tired, and he looked far too thin. His hands twisted nervously in front of him. He looked like a man who had given up.

"Hi." He sounded as anxious as Kurt felt.

"Hi."

Less than a second passed in silence and then both boys threw their arms around each other, taking joy in the sense of home, and of feeling able to breathe properly for the first time in months.

As they clung together, Blaine began to babble.

"I am so sorry, Kurt. I never meant for this to happen. I'm the worst friend in the world and I'll never be able to make it up to you, but please, please, please forgive me. I don't know what I'd do without you, I need you, Kurt. I never meant to hurt you like I did, but I was so confused. I have no fucking clue which way is up anymore. Don't hate me. He said you didn't like who I was anymore and I don't know what I can do, but I hate myself for that—"

"Shh," Kurt cut him off with a soothing hand to his hair. "I love who you are. Don't ever let anyone tell you differently. Of course I forgive you. We fought. That's what friends do. But best friends always make up. I missed you so much and I'm so glad to be home."

Blaine slumped in relief in his arms. "You did? Really?"

"Of course I did. I have a whole folder of 90 draft emails to prove it."

"You wrote to me?"

"Every day."

"Why didn't you send them?"

"I was too angry with you."

"Are you still?"

Kurt hesitated. He had forgiven Blaine, but was he still angry? He glanced over Blaine's shoulder to the table and had his answer. "You made me a funfetti cake. How could I be angry with you?"

Blaine's responding laugh felt like a breath of fresh air.

Kurt finally pulled away and placed a hand on Blaine's cheek.

"You're so thin." It was not necessarily a question, but Blaine answered, fidgeting.

"I've been trying to lose some weight. I want to look good for him."

 _There it was_. Connor was still in the picture. Kurt clenched his jaw and his nostrils flared with rage at what Blaine had not spoken— that Connor had been commenting on his appearance. Blaine challenged him to say something. After a few moments, Kurt did respond.

"Well is he here now?"

Blaine shook his head.

"Then you're helping me eat this cake."

 

* * *

 

Miraculously, Connor did not show up at their house the whole day, nor did Blaine have any obligations, meaning he and Kurt were able to spend the entire day catching up. Kurt showed off his pictures from sightseeing trips, the end-of-summer fashion show, and some of his sketches that he had worked on, and shared some of the Italian candies he had brought back with him. Blaine talked about his summer coursework and his volunteering at a summer camp for children with disabilities, but had little else to add, since he and Kurt seemed to have reached an unspoken agreement not to use his name, and to talk about him as little as possible, and he had spent most of his free time in the summer with Connor.

Just like old times, they vegged out on the couch and ordered takeout, laughing as Kurt tried to teach Blaine some of the Italian phrases he had picked up.

When the food arrived, Blaine took a few bites and then set the bowl aside, looking longingly at the remainder.

Kurt noticed and said sternly, "Eat it, Blaine."

He shook his head sadly. "I can't."

Kurt set his food down and moved in closer to Blaine. "You know you don't need to change anything about your appearance, right? You looked amazing before." Blaine just shrugged and Kurt's heart dropped. He was so far gone that his praise did not affect Blaine anymore. "Plus, instead of lowering your food intake, maybe you should just box instead. It would be healthier."

Blaine chewed his lip, eyes shifting around the room. "I don't really box anymore."

"What? Why not?"

"He told me it wasn't worth my time, and that I wasn't good enough to continue. And he doesn't like it when I come home all sweaty."

Kurt scooted away, because he felt like lashing out. "You know what? Fuck him, Blaine! That's what he said about your music, too. You see what he's doing to you, don't you? He's cutting you off from everything and everyone that you love so that you're isolated and have to depend on only him for your survival and happiness. God, Blaine," Kurt grabbed his hands and fell to his knees in front of Blaine on the couch. What little resolve he had had before he arrived home was all but gone. He cursed himself for allowing Blaine to be such a weak spot for him. "You deserve so much more than him. I can give that to you."

Blaine's watery eyes regarded Kurt carefully. When he spoke, it was barely a whisper. "I want that. You don't know how badly I want that. But you're all that I have that's good in my life. This summer without you was the worst few months I've ever had. I couldn't bear it if something went awry between us and I had to go the rest of my life without you. And something would go awry. I'm oblivious and selfish and I mess up every relationship I'm in, Kurt. I can't risk it with you."

"You wouldn't. I promise. Please. Let me have one day with you. Let me take you on a date so I can show you what it would be like. If you don't like it, if it doesn't work out, I swear nothing will change between us. We can just go back to normal."

"I don't know…" Blaine bit his trembling lip. His hands gripped Kurt's and Kurt looked down to realize that the leather bracelet was a little loose around his wrist, but still there.

"What are you worried about, Anderson?"

"Things with him were great in the beginning, too. One date with you could give me false hope for what the relationship would really be like. I couldn't stand to watch things go downhill with us, especially when I know how great it could be." Blaine squeezed his eyes shut. "Especially not when you're the one person I would trust with my life."

Kurt held his hands tighter. "It wouldn't. It couldn't. I could never treat you like he does."

"How do you know? How can you promise that?" Blaine's voice was a shaky whisper.

"I've been in love with you for three years, and I've never started treating you poorly. Can't you understand the difference between the two of us?"

Kurt expected Blaine to counter his argument yet again, but Blaine seemed to be stuck on something else he had said.

"You're in love with me?"

"Yes. I told you I love you."

"I know you love me, but you're _in love_ with me?" Blaine sounded like he could not believe his ears.

Kurt wanted to laugh. "I have been for years. How could I not be? You're...you're _Blaine_. Why, does that change things?"

"I don't know."

"What will it take to show you that I'm perfectly right for you?"

"Trust me, I already know that."

"Then what will it take to show you that you need to leave him?"

"I don't know."

Kurt shifted on his achy knees, feeling for once like a victory was within reach. "Go on a date with me. Let me change your mind."

"And if it doesn't work, we just go back to normal, no questions asked?"

Kurt gave a half-smile. "Well, it's me. I'll probably ask questions. But yes. We just go back to normal."

Blaine breathed evenly, eyes staring straight into Kurt's.

"Okay. Let's do it."

Kurt squealed in excitement, hugging Blaine tightly and settling back on the couch next to him

After a while of watching TV in silence, Blaine said, with a smile still on his face, "He may be trying to isolate me, but there was one thing he didn't account for."

"What's that?"

"That neither of us will ever let him cut me off from you."

 

* * *

 

To say that Kurt was keyed up the morning of the date was a major understatement. He had spent two weeks planning the entire day down to the minute, and he was positive that by the end of the night tonight, Blaine would be his.

He forced himself to stay in bed because the sun had not yet risen, but his heart was racing and he felt a little sick to his stomach in anticipation. Shortly after talking himself out of getting out of bed for the third or fourth time, he heard Blaine's footsteps pounding down the hall, his door flew open, and Blaine jumped onto his bed screaming " _Klaine day! Klaine day!_ "

Laughing at his roommate's antics, Kurt said, "Blaine, it's not even seven o'clock."

"What even _is_ time?" Blaine responded, cuddling up to Kurt atop his comforter.

"Nuh-uh. None of that. This is not Gay Talk™. I need to be quite seriously intoxicated to listen to your thoughts on space and time."

"Kurt, guess what?" Blaine sounded like an excited little child, and it made Kurt beyond happy. Blaine had been so down lately, and the night before, he and Connor had had a major fight about Blaine taking the day for Kurt, and Kurt was fairly certain he had spent the night crying. During the past two weeks, Kurt had seen a slight improvement in Blaine, and he could not help but to blame himself for how bad things had been over the summer. If only he had stayed in contact...if only he had apologized...if only he had stayed home...the list was endless. He tried to be realistic and push away those negative thoughts, so at that moment, the joy on Blaine's face, and knowing that it was there because of him, was almost too much to handle.

Kurt rubbed his hand over Blaine's thin sleep shirt. "What, Blaine?"

"Today is our day. The whole day can be Gay Talk™ if we want."

"No way. I have plans."

"What kind of plans?"

"They're a secret. I've been telling you that for two weeks."

"But it's here. The day is today! Can't you tell me now?" Blaine pouted.

"Don't you pull that pouty face on me, mister. The answer is no."

"So how will I know how to dress?"

"Dress casually for the first part of the day. I'll pick you up at 8:30."

"Pick me up? We live together."

"Shut up."

Blaine smiled and slid out of bed to shower.

 

* * *

 

The joke was on Blaine. Kurt had somehow slipped out of the house without Blaine noticing, and he now stood on the front porch, ringing the doorbell with a single sunflower in hand.

"Kurt, can you get the door?" he heard Blaine yell from in the house.

"No!" he yelled back.

Through the tiny side panel window, he saw Blaine jump and rush to the door. He flung it open with confusion on his face that immediately morphed into the biggest smile Kurt had ever seen.

"Hi."

"Hi. This is for you. It reminds me of your smile and how you always make me happy." Kurt handed over the flower to a beaming Blaine.

"Thank you. I'm almost ready. Let me grab a sweater and then we can go."

Kurt waited patiently, putting the sunflower in a tall, thin vase. When Blaine was ready, they headed out to the train.

"Where are we going?" Blaine asked. The boy was bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet with excitement, and Kurt could deny him the information no longer.

"First stop: breakfast with our friends." He told Blaine that Nick, Jeff, Tina, Mike, Mercedes, and a few other college friends would meet them at the diner they had frequented as freshmen.

They stayed for almost two hours at the diner, catching up with their friends and laughing over stories of their drunken escapades as young college students. Kurt mostly sat back and watched as Blaine gleefully reconnected with the friends he had slowly lost contact with over the last two years. At some point, Blaine looked over at him with a smile and thanks in his eyes, and slipped his hand into Kurt's, where it stayed for the remainder of the breakfast.

When they parted ways, Kurt heard Jeff whispering to Blaine, "The decision is easy."

He took Blaine's hand back, and they headed off to their next destination.

"Next up: a sort of...reunion…"

"Cryptic. I like it," Blaine smirked, trotting alongside Kurt.

"Are you sure we're in the right place?" Blaine asked when Kurt steered him toward a bowling alley.

"Pretty sure, since I'm the one who planned this," Kurt scoffed. "Come on."

Inside, they were met with cheers and a large group of parents with their young children surrounding a table with a large wrapped gift and a banner that said "We'll miss you, Mr. Anderson!"

Blaine looked incredulously around him at his students from the summer camp he had volunteered with, all excited to see their favorite teacher. It was no surprise, but still warmed Kurt's heart to see how much the parents and students loved Blaine. He thanked the appropriate power for the hundredth time that through everything, Blaine had not let his studies or work slide.

Together, they laughed and snacked and bowled, and an hour and a half later, Kurt produced a bag from nowhere and told Blaine they needed to move on to their next stop.

"Where are we going?"

"The gym."

If Kurt thought he had shocked Blaine by taking him to a bowling alley, it was nothing compared to the surprise on his face when Kurt announced that they were going to the gym.

"Uh...you don't go to the gym."

"Just trust me."

"I do," he said without a second thought.

They walked into the locker room of the gym that Blaine used to attend regularly and changed into the workout clothes that Kurt had packed.

"Please tell me you're not going to watch me work out." He could still not work out what Kurt plus gym clothes plus the gym equated to.

"Nope. I'm going to do it with you." Kurt grinned at Blaine's confusion.

"Why?"

"Because it's something you love, and I appreciate that."

"So you're willing to get all sweaty and gross just to support me?"

"Basically."

"That might be the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me."

Kurt snorted. "Oh, shut up."

Blaine was not laughing. "I'm serious, though. You don't get it…"

"No, I do," Kurt assured him, face turning solemn. "Trust me. I do."

Breaking the moment of sentimentality, Kurt jabbed him lightly in the stomach.

"Hey! What did you punch me for?" Blaine whined.

"Just practicing." Kurt shrugged.

"Practicing?" Recognition dawned on Blaine's face, and he suddenly looked unbearably excited. "Are we boxing?"

Kurt smiled and nodded. "We have a personal instructor for 90 minutes."

"You're the fucking best, Hummel!" Blaine punched the air before running off and forgetting Kurt behind him.

 

* * *

 

"What's the dress code for tonight?" Blaine asked as he toweled off his hair. They had returned home to shower off the sweat before heading out for the rest of their night.

"Dress nice, but not fancy."

Blaine rolled his eyes. "That doesn't actually make any sense."

"Well then it's a good thing I already picked out your outfit, isn't it?" Kurt smirked, motioning to where an outfit for Blaine swayed on a hanger. "Goodness, Blaine. What's rule number one?"

"Never doubt Kurt when it comes to fashion," he recited zombie-like, as if he had said it multiple times in his life. Which he had.

"Right! Now go change."

Blaine did as told, then bounded over to Kurt's room.

"So what's next? Is this where the date gets more date-like?"

"What do you mean?" Kurt asked. "You don't think what we've done so far was romantic?"

"Outrageously romantic, for you to plan for us to do those things that you knew I loved so much together. But they're just regular things that we would normally do."

"Exactly." He took a reeling Blaine by the arm and led him out the door. "Onward to dinner."

 

* * *

 

They ate at a new tapas bar that they had both been dying to try, then Kurt led the way to a bar down the street from their house.

They settled in and ordered drinks; Kurt his usual Long Island and Blaine his whiskey ginger ale.

"Hey, look! It's open mic night!" Blaine pointed out the advertisement on their table.

"Yeah, I know." Kurt had a mischievous glint in his eyes that Blaine did his best to ignore. They watched act after act take the stage and sat back in their booth doing what they did best at social functions and bars: placing bets on who would hook up with whom.

"Those two? No way, she's one hundred percent a lesbian," Blaine countered one of Kurt's predictions.

Kurt took another sip of his drink, then set it down purposefully. "Oh well. Come on," he shoved Blaine out of the booth.

"Where are we going?"

"To the stage. It's our turn."

Blaine's eyes widened. "You little sneak! You signed us up for open mic night?"

Blaine buzzed with the electric anticipation that always preceded a performance, but Kurt could see the trepidation behind his smile. He had not played or sang in so long because of Connor...suddenly, everything fell into place, and Kurt could see the exact moment that Blaine realized what his plan had been for the night.

"Everything we've done today...they're all things he's taken away from me. You not only let me do them, but you did them with me."

Kurt nodded nervously, hoping that Blaine did not get angry at him for playing that angle.

"You little sneak!" Blaine repeated with a laugh.

"Maybe. But is it working?"

Blaine just hugged Kurt with his body and soul in response.

They walked toward the stage arm in arm.

"What are we singing?" Blaine questioned.

"Don't worry. You know it," Kurt smirked. He situated Blaine at the piano and sat next to him. Then he pulled out the sheet music with a flourish and placed it on the stand.

"You— I— but how— where did you get that?" Blaine floundered for words as he recognized his own music for the last song he had ever played. The one he had written for Kurt.

Kurt shrugged, a blush coloring his cheeks. "Don't worry about it."

"...So you stole it from my desk?"

"Shut up and play," Kurt nudged him in the ribs.

He couldn't help but notice that Blaine's eyes watched him wondrously the entire time they sang. Their voices flowed beautifully together and with the music, as if the songwriter had created it with them in mind. Kurt would have to remember to compliment him later.

Blaine always awed him when he performed, and this was no different. They had the entire crowd in the bar enraptured by their duet, nobody uttering so much as a sound while they sang.

When they finished to thunderous applause, Kurt deferred to Blaine, who deserved all the credit, then pulled him offstage and into his arms once again.

"You're fucking incredible, Hummel," Blaine said, sounding emotional. "This has been the best day of my life."

"It's not over yet," Kurt told him quietly. "We're going to end the night in true Kurt and Blaine fashion."

 

* * *

 

Back at home they snuggled together on the couch snacking and watching reality television as was their tradition, both lost in thoughts of the perfect night they'd had.

Eventually, Kurt caught Blaine dozing off, and he claimed that it was bedtime.

"Thank you for today," Blaine said as they stood in Kurt's doorway. He wrapped his arms around Kurt's neck and his breath caught at their closeness.

"Every day could be like that, you know," Kurt said. "I mean, quite a bit less eventful, but equally as happy."

Blaine leaned in so their lips were almost touching. "You are my happiness."

Kurt shivered. "And you are mine."

Blaine tried to close the distance between them, but Kurt pulled his face back incrementally. "Not yet," he whispered, his breath ghosting over Blaine's lips. "You still have a boyfriend. Finish things with him and tomorrow you can kiss me all you want."

Blaine closed his eyes, but stood frozen in place with less than an inch between him and Kurt. Finally, he backed away after planting a kiss on his cheek. "Good night."

"Good night."

Everything had gone precisely according to plan. He had always been Blaine's, but come morning, Blaine would be his, too.

 

* * *

 

Laying in bed and trying to fall asleep was extremely difficult when Blaine was crying on the phone with Connor in the next room over. It had started out as Blaine's hushed voice drifting through the wall, but had turned into quiet cries and pleas as the conversation went on.

Kurt turned on his side, knowing he needed to give Blaine privacy to break up with his boyfriend. He shoved in earbuds and listened to the recording he'd made of him and Blaine singing together over and over, eventually drifting off and knowing that when he woke, everything would be right in the world.

 

* * *

 

Morning dawned and Kurt tiptoed down the hall to knock quietly on Blaine's door, which was still closed. He waited, but Blaine did not open the door, so he cracked it open and called Blaine's name.

"Go away," was Blaine's returning grumble. He was still face-down in bed, the pillow pulled over his head.

Kurt approached his side of the bed carefully with a grin, ready to pounce, but before he had the chance, Blaine spoke again.

"I mean it, Kurt. Go away."

Kurt peeled the pillow away from his face and saw that Blaine's face was tear-streaked and eyes red and raw, as if he had been crying all night again. He acted on instinct, hands rubbing Blaine's back and shoulders in a soothing motion. "What's wrong?"

Blaine squeezed his eyes shut and turned his head away.

"Go away, Kurt. I can't stand for you to touch me right now. Not when I'm hurting you like this."

 _Fuck_ , Kurt realized with a gasp. _He's choosing Connor._ His hands retracted and he backed immediately away from the bed. Everything in his body hurt, except for his heart, which, left lying next to Blaine, could no longer be considered part of him. He had shown Blaine the best day of his life, everything that he could have, and Blaine was rejecting him. He could not force his voice to work, so his word was soundless.

"Why?"

"I'm not good enough for you."

Kurt was at a loss. Last night, he had been so sure that both of them were certain they were meant for each other. What had happened between their farewell at Kurt's bedroom door and now?

 _That shitbag Connor._ When Blaine called to try to break it off with him last night, Connor must have connived him into believing he did not deserve Kurt.

Kurt stomped his foot angrily, temporarily forgetting his heartbreak. "Fuck him and his goddamn fucking mind games, Blaine! Don't listen to a single word he says. _I_ say what I need. _I_ say who's good enough for me. And _I_ choose you. Please choose me too."

Blaine still refused to look at him. "He's right, Kurt. I ruin every relationship I'm in, and if we had something, I would inevitably destroy that too. Don't you see? I can't ruin us by doing that."

Kurt growled in frustration. "This — you disrespecting yourself by continually going back to him — _this_ is ruining us!"

Blaine slowly turned his head to look at Kurt, which turned out to be a horrible idea, as they both almost broke into tears at the eye contact. "You said we could go back to normal, no questions asked." His voice was scratchy and pained, and he looked like he was being tortured. He was as good as, anyway.

Kurt caught sight of Blaine's bare left wrist and it all sunk in. Blaine had removed the bracelet Kurt had given him. It really was over. It was over before it even began. Kurt set his jaw and his eyes were steely when he responded. "Yeah, well, I didn't think you'd make the wrong decision."

He closed Blaine's door slowly and retreated to his bedroom, where he remained for the rest of the day. This was his and Blaine's messiest fight yet, and he did not know how or if they could ever recover.

 

* * *

 

Seeing Connor was the last thing Blaine wanted to do, but he had to get away from the house where he could hear Kurt's wails through the wall, so he put on a stony facade in order to avoid feeling any further pain and headed to Connor's to make up from their last argument, which Connor had successfully convinced Blaine was his fault.

The muffled sound of the doorbell coming from inside Connor's apartment met Blaine's ears. He fiddled with the apology flowers hiding behind his back while he waited for Connor to come to the door.

He waited so long that he almost gave up and left, but finally, his boyfriend was there.

"Blaine!" he said in surprise, his eyes wide. He looked fresh out of the shower, and Blaine could smell the body wash. He hugged Connor closely, breathing in his scent to try to overpower that of Kurt's, which he could not get out of his head, then pulled away, handing over the flowers.

"These are to say I'm sorry. I shouldn't have stormed out of here the other night. You were right, I'm to blame, and I apologize." Blaine bit his lip as he waited for Connor to respond.

Connor set the flowers aside, none too gently. "Blaine, why did you bring these? Flowers are for girls."

Blaine's cheeks burned. "I'm sorry. I thought they'd be a nice way to apologize." _Kurt loves when I bring him flowers_ , he refrained from adding.

Connor sneered at them, grunting.

"So are you over that temporary insanity from last night? I told you you'd realize that you're all wrong for him, and I'm very glad you made the right decision." He snaked his arms around Blaine. "Come to bed with me so I can show you just how glad I am."

He kissed Blaine, who did not react, so Connor pulled back and gave him a strange look. "What?"

"I don't think we should—"

"Stop. I want you to come to bed with me. Don't you want that?"

"I don't feel like it right now, Connor. We shouldn't."

"We should." It was final. And Blaine found himself giving in, yearning desperately to forget Kurt's lips and Kurt's touch and Kurt's love.

It did not work.

After it was over, Blaine, feeling infinitely worse and even more confused than before, stood next to the bed and walked toward the bathroom.

"Don't go in there!" Connor cried, reaching out for Blaine.

"I kind of have to. You made a mess on me." Blaine heard how empty his voice sounded and hated himself. For everything.

Despite Connor's protests, Blaine went into the bathroom, opening the door to find a man wrapped only in a towel sitting on the edge of the bathtub.

"Who the hell are you?" Blaine asked after he had processed the shock of finding someone else in the apartment. The bathroom was only accessible through the bedroom, so Blaine knew the man must have been there the whole time. Since before Blaine arrived. When Connor had just gotten out of the shower. Where this guy had been too. Blaine snapped. His body started to shake with rage and betrayal.

Blaine turned over his shoulder to shoot an accusatory glare at Connor. "Did you sleep with him?"

"Please remember how much I love you."Connor's expression was the closest Blaine had ever seen him come to being afraid.

"Did you sleep with him?" Blaine repeated.

"Not just him. I've slept with a few other guys," Connor admitted guiltily. He then composed himself and straightened his posture, eyes becoming defiant and challenging. "But Blaine, are you really surprised? You can't honestly think I'm satisfied with you alone."

Blaine couldn't believe the words he was hearing. Of course that's what he'd— He felt queasy. Connor had been sleeping with another guy. More than one other guy. Blaine had slept with him right after a sexcapade with another man. He was nauseated and suddenly felt like he needed to scrub the dirt off of his body.

Finding his voice, Blaine asked, "How long has this been going on?"

"From the beginning. You're not exactly the most attractive or the, well…" he made a gesture downward. "...biggest guy in town. This can't come as a surprise to you."

 _Oh, fuck._ The contents of his stomach finally revolted and emptied right onto the towel-wrapped man in the bathroom, who shrieked.

"Con! He threw up on me!"

Blaine backed out of the bedroom, escaping to the living room in a flash. He located his phone on the kitchen counter and took it to the couch. On second thought, Connor had probably had sex on the couch, too, so he opted to sit on the ground. He curled up in a protective ball, wishing he had put on more than just his boxers, but less than willing to go back into the bedroom where the rest of his clothes were stashed.

His fingers pulled up Kurt's contact without him even thinking about it, and despite everything, despite the huge, possibly irreconcilable blowout they were in the midst of, he knew calling Kurt was the right thing to do. Even if Kurt refused to come get him, just hearing from his best friend would assuredly calm him down.

The phone call went to voicemail. He ended the call without leaving a message, then opened a new text message.

_To Kurt: Come get me._

Only a few seconds later, Kurt's response came.

_To Blaine: Why?_

_To Kurt: Please._

He set his phone down and threw his head back against the wall. He could hear muffled conversation coming from the next room before the bedroom door opened and Connor came out.

"Blaine. I wish you would come back in here. It's not that big of a deal. You know you're the only one I love. Maybe we can try that threesome I've always begged you about."

Blaine's stomach rolled again. He shook his head.

"Fine. Your loss," Connor frowned as he retreated to the bedroom.

Blaine tried blocking out the creaking floorboards and the muted voices as his boyfriend did god knows what with another man in the next room. He tried dissociating himself, wanting to forget everything, but was stuck in place. He wanted to forget that his boyfriend had been cheating on him, he wanted to forget that he was in an abusive relationship, he wanted to forget that his best friend hated him. He wanted to forget that his best friend loved him.

He checked his phone. Almost an hour had passed since he texted Kurt. If he was coming, he would have been there by now. _No!_ Blaine yelled at himself. _Have faith in your friendship. He understands you better than anyone. He knows you're in trouble. He's coming._

"He's not coming," Connor stepped out into the living room once again. "Give it up, Blaine. He probably hates you for what you've done. Your fight was the end of things. I think you've lost him for good this time. But it's okay, because you have me, and I love you. Listen, I asked Josh to leave so that we can have some time alone. I want to make this up to you."

Connor extended his hand out to Blaine, who cowered further into the corner.

Without so much as a knock, the door to the apartment flew open and Kurt ran in, looking around frantically. He located Blaine, curled up in only his boxers and Connor standing over him expectantly.

Blaine's eyes found his and the relief and gratitude pouring out of him clenched around Kurt's heart.

"I'm so sorry it took me so long. I had to borrow Nick's car. What happened?" he demanded.

"Why are you here?" Connor asked, crossing his arms over his chest as he stepped between Kurt and Blaine. "I thought the two of you were fighting."

Kurt straightened out in an offensive position, looking angrier than Blaine had ever seen. "Yeah, we fought. But that doesn't change anything. I will _always_ be here for Blaine when he needs me." Kurt held out his hand and immediately, Blaine unfolded from the ground and scampered into his outstretched arm. Kurt wrapped it around his too thin frame and Blaine buried his face in Kurt's neck. Connor watched the whole exchange with a scowl.

"Are you alright?" Kurt asked quietly, his mouth up to Blaine's ear. Blaine's head shake was all he needed to know.

"Well I'm here now. Where are your clothes?" He gave Blaine no time to respond before turning on Connor, Blaine still tightly in his grasp. " _Where are his clothes_?"

Just then, the other man emerged from the bedroom, shirtless and buttoning his pants.

Kurt, completely confused, looked to Blaine who burrowed further into his neck, and Kurt put the pieces together.

" _What the fuck, Connor_?" Kurt screamed. "Bring Blaine's clothes out here right now. We're leaving and you're never going to see him again."

Kurt must have looked as terrifying as he felt, because Connor obeyed without protest.

As Blaine dressed, Kurt ran around the apartment to collect the things that he had gathered there over the course of their relationship, and returned to Connor trying to talk Blaine out of leaving.

"Don't go, babe. If you leave, you can't ever come back. We will be over for good. If you don't have me, what do you have? Nobody will ever love you like I do."

"You're right, nobody will ever love me like you do…" Blaine said, and Kurt's heart fell to the ground.

 _Not this again,_ he thought.

"...but Kurt will love me better. We're leaving. I'm done, and you'll never hurt me again."

Blaine took Kurt's hand and marched him toward the door.

"Don't you even think about contacting either of us," Kurt warned over his shoulder.

"Blaine, please. Don't," Connor begged, desperate now.

Blaine turned back slowly and glared in his direction.

"Goodbye and fuck you very much."

 

* * *

 

Kurt dragged Blaine hastily but gently out to the car and ushered him into the passenger seat, then took off, tires screeching. He drove a few minutes down the road to an abandoned parking structure, knuckles white as his fingers clenched the steering wheel, then stopped the car and climbed into the back seat, motioning for Blaine to join him.

The second the door was closed behind Blaine, Kurt took him into his arms and the two clung to each other with all their might. He let Blaine cry it out for what seemed like hours, all thoughts of what had happened between the two of them momentarily pushed to the back of his mind while he fulfilled the role that Blaine needed; the one of best friend.

Eventually, the sobs died down and Blaine peeled himself off of Kurt.

"I— I'm sorry," he said, looking down at his lap.

"No," Kurt said so sharply that Blaine was startled into looking up at him. "Not right now."

Blaine's cries cut off any further words he may have wanted to say, so he held onto Kurt's hands and gave him a look that said it all. Thank you.

"Time to go home?" Kurt asked when Blaine let him go, but Blaine shook his head.

"Take me to the clinic."

 

* * *

 

After their stop to have Blaine tested, Kurt had brought him home, let him shower, and put him to bed with a soft song and whispers of sweet reassurances that it was just the two of them now, and that Blaine had nothing to worry about. Before leaving, he gave Blaine a kiss on the forehead and asked, "are you okay?"

Blaine pressed Kurt's hand to his face, repeating Kurt's words over in his head. _It's just the two of us now._ Like the answer was obvious, he replied, "I'm with you."

 

* * *

 

It took two days for Blaine to become functional again. Kurt cared for him while he was down, though the pair talked very little over those few days. Still, they never parted. Blaine needed Kurt there, and Kurt needed to to be there for Blaine.

The call came that Blaine was clean, which was a humongous weight lifted off his shoulders, and helped him come one step closer to healing. Kurt followed through on his earlier promise to himself and suggested that Blaine start seeing a therapist, and as suspected, he agreed without hesitation.

Kurt never brought up the relationship or history between the two of them, allowing Blaine to initiate those conversations, because he knew Blaine was not ready, nor would he be for some time. Whenever Blaine did mention it, Kurt always said the same thing: "I'm not going anywhere, Blaine. When you're ready, I will be here."

Blaine slowly reintroduced himself back into the aspects of his old life that he had once loved, occasionally meeting up with his friends, starting to play his guitar for Kurt every night before bed, and reconnecting with his parents, eventually telling them everything that had happened. They swore their eternal gratitude to Kurt, who Blaine admitted had kept him alive and in touch with who he really was during those two years.

One of the most healing things Blaine did was to write a letter to Kurt, apologizing for everything that had transpired. He asked for forgiveness for treating Kurt so poorly and for disrespecting himself. In the letter, he wrote his heart out, thanking Kurt for everything he had done to keep Blaine from going off the deep end and everything he continued to do to help him along his journey back to himself. The paper was now stained with both Kurt's and Blaine's tears as they broke down and spilled their innermost feelings and fears to each other, and ultimately came out with a stronger, more honest bond than ever.

Blaine progressed to his therapist's satisfaction, and she began encouraging him to start exploring his romantic feelings for Kurt, now that he was not entirely dependent on Kurt for his happiness, and she knew, after meeting Kurt a few times, that he was good for Blaine.

Things were going well, but not every day was easy. Blaine had setbacks where he fell into the trap of self-doubt and deprecation in which Connor had kept him for years. One night, he came to Kurt on the verge of tears. Kurt ended the call he was on with his dad and sat with Blaine on the bed.

"What's up?" he asked.

"What if he's taken everything from me? What if he's taken my ability to love again? What if there's nothing left for you?" Blaine was distraught.

"He hasn't. There is."

"Kurt, your endless belief in me has saved me more times than I can count. It's my favorite thing about our friendship. But this time...you just don't understand "

"You're right. I can't pretend to know everything you've gone through. But I _do_ know this, Blaine."

"No you don't. You can't. _I_ can't even know that."

Kurt smiled softly. "I know lots of things about you before you know them about yourself. You're not broken. You _can_ love me."

"You don't know that. How can you?"

"Because through all of this, through the hell you've walked through, you've loved me the whole time. It's not a matter of _if_ you can love me now, it's a matter of how you will continue to."

And with the help of his therapist, and Kurt's steady support, Blaine knew it was true.

 

* * *

 

"Spring break sure looks different than it used to," Mike mused to Kurt as they leaned on the kitchen counter in Mike and Tina's apartment. Rather than beach vacations and week-long hangovers, the seniors had all decided to stay in New York for this year's spring break in order to save their money for after graduation. Mike and Tina welcomed everyone into their home for a spring break kickoff party, which felt emotional for many of them, as it was nearing the end of their time together as a group.

"That it does," Mike agreed. "It's nice to have everyone together again." Kurt did not miss the emphasis on the word everyone. He followed Mike's line of sight to see Blaine chatting happily with Mercedes, his cheeks flushed with his buzz.

"He looks happy, doesn't he?"

As if he could sense being talked about, Blaine's head swiveled to find Kurt looking at him fondly, and he started to make his way across the room.

"Never as happy as when he's with you," Mike sing-songed before he slipped away.

"Hello. I'm drunk. Dance with me." Blaine's words left little room for Kurt to refuse, had he wanted to. Which he didn't. So with a laugh, he pulled Blaine out near the speaker. A few couples were dancing nearby, but they hardly noticed the addition to the dance floor.

Blaine moved his limbs sloppily to the music. "Wow," he shouted to Kurt over the music. "I forgot what it felt like to be drunk!"

Kurt knew Blaine had refrained from drinking while he was with Connor since the latter was not a fan of Blaine's silliness or philosophical musings that were brought on by a few too many beers.

"I forgot how handsy you get when you drink," Kurt shouted back as Blaine's arms wound around his waist, but instead of stepping away, Kurt melted into them.

"You don't hate it," Blaine teased.

"No, I don't." Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's waist as well, and rested his head on Blaine's shoulder and suddenly they were slow dancing against the fast tempo of party music, but nobody around them seemed to notice.

Intoxicated and under the spell of the dim lights and comfort of each other's arms, it was impossible for them not to have a moment. But it was an unspoken moment, one that passed effortlessly between two people whose souls were meant for one another. One in which Blaine thanked Kurt for more than he could ever put into words and in which Kurt let Blaine know that nothing would ever make him happier than seeing Blaine smile.

"Kurt, I really need to tell you something," Blaine whispered into his ear, rubbing at his back urgently.

Kurt angled his head so he could see Blaine's beautiful face. "What is it? You can tell me anything." They had always been open with each other, especially recently, and Kurt was surprised that Blaine needed a reminder.

Blaine looked at him with wide, serious eyes. "Kurt, we _are_ the universe."

Kurt let out something between a sigh and a snort and grabbed Blaine's hand to pull him along to find an empty room. "Come on. It's time."

 

* * *

 

"I just can't wrap my brain around it. We are all made up of atoms from a star exploding that made the universe. We _are_ the universe." Blaine was flat on his back next to Kurt on the ground of Mike and Tina's closet — the only empty space they could find in the apartment. They stared up at the dark ceiling as they spoke. Rarely did they turn lights on during Gay Talk™, paying homage to their early days in the dorms when they would talk into the late hours of the night.

"Oh my god, Blaine, does that mean we control the universe, or that the universe controls us?" Kurt sounded horrified at the prospect. "What if everything we do is orchestrated by something outside of our own free will? What if there's no such thing as free will?"

Blaine took the panicked boy's hand and shushed him soothingly. "Of course we have free will. But that doesn't mean there aren't outside forces helping us make those decisions. Did you know that in space, when two of the same type of metal touch, they fuse because they can't tell the difference between which atoms belong to which piece of metal? I kind of think that's like you and me. As soon as we were brought together, we had no choice but to become one. I've never really been able to tell where I end and you begin. Maybe that's because we're made of the same material and the forces of the universe welded us together."

"There isn't anyone else I'd rather be welded to." Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand as they started an out of control giggle session.

A sliver of light appeared as Jeff peeked his face in the closet. "You two are so fucking weird. Come on. You have two minutes to get out here. We're taking shots."

 

* * *

 

The wind whipped at Kurt's face as he walked through the park on his way back home from work a few weeks later, but even the cold spring air could not cut through the warmth he felt when he thought of Blaine. Kurt was insanely proud of how far Blaine had come over the past few months. He had cut off all contact with Connor, and was beginning to stand on his own again. He finally believed Kurt again when he told him how valuable he was, and believed he was deserving of goodness, something Kurt would never again take for granted. Blaine was returning to a healthy weight, thanks to Kurt's cooking and continued training with his boxing instructor, and he was able to sleep through the night again. There would always be psychological scars left over from Connor, but Blaine was an amazingly resilient human being. And that only made Kurt love him more.

Since the day that Blaine sent the SOS text, Kurt had kept his distance, waiting for Blaine to come to him. Only Blaine would know when he was ready, and Kurt respected that. Blaine had started to show hints that he might be far enough along in the healing process to consider dipping his toes into something with Kurt, and for the first time in months, Kurt let himself think about what he could have.

Even at his lowest and in desperate need of help, Blaine was still the man Kurt had fallen in love with, and not a day had passed that Kurt was not one hundred percent sure of his feelings. The day that Blaine came to him, he would say yes without a second thought.

Grudgingly taking off his warm gloves as he approached his house, Kurt unlocked the front door and stepped into a dream.

 

* * *

 

Soft music flowed through the air, the table was set with their nicest runner and a gorgeous centerpiece, and candles in tall candlesticks glowed brightly in the dim lighting of the dining room. Two long-stemmed crystal wine glasses sat atop the table next to a bottle of their favorite red wine, to accompany the steaming food laid out on the beautiful dishes that Kurt had been begging Blaine to splurge on.

It was a perfect replica of the candlelit dinner Kurt had arranged for Blaine two years ago on New Year's Day, right down to the small, wrapped package on the table. The only difference was _everything_. Everything was right this time.

"Blaine?" Kurt called, cursing his voice for wavering already, when he had only just walked in the door. He stripped off his jacket and boots while Blaine stepped out from the shadows of the kitchen.

His roommate, best friend, and all around favorite person in the world rounded the table with a shy smile on his face, eyes never leaving Kurt.

"Hi, Kurt." He stood in front of him until Kurt couldn't take it anymore and launched into his arms, nearly knocking over one of the candles.

"How did you know?" Kurt asked, referring to the candlelit dinner that Blaine had never come home to see.

Blaine bit his lip. "I was there. Outside." He winced at Kurt's gasp, but continued. "I knew what my choice was, but I was so convinced that our friendship wouldn't survive whatever I put our relationship through, so I chose him."

"Blaine…"

"But now I know. I know that it was the worst decision I've ever made, and I know I've been such an idiot. Because you make me happier than anyone else ever has and ever could. I know that we are exactly right for each other; that there's nobody else I want to spend my life with. You loved me when I was at my worst, always giving me what I didn't even know I needed. I now know that the only way to ruin things between us is to deny this. I'm not a fool, I know that we will fight. But I know that whenever I fuck up, you always forgive me. And most importantly, I know that you rarely let me fuck up, because you know me better than I know myself." Blaine took both of Kurt's hands in his, the look on his face one of pure elation. "Kurt, I cannot go one more minute without you by my side in this life. Will you please sit down and enjoy this dinner with me as more than just my best friend? As my boyfriend?"

Kurt lifted Blaine's hands to his lips to hide his smile. "I've been waiting for you. Not just for the last few months, but for my whole life. So yes. Yes, Blaine. I've never wanted anything more."

 

* * *

 

Blaine did convince Kurt to sit and eat for a few minutes, but it did not take long for both men to abandon their dinners and turn the table into something that closely resembled a war zone. Food was left half eaten on plates that had been flung across the table, wine glasses were knocked over so that their contents soaked the (thankfully) dark table runner, candles were hastily blown out so nothing caught fire, and two chairs were knocked backward onto the ground in Blaine's mad rush for Kurt's lips.

Kurt had actually even been in the middle of a sentence when Blaine stood abruptly and slithered in between Kurt and the table, legs on either side of Kurt's lap.

"I need you to kiss me, or I'm going to die."

"You will not die, don't be dramatic," Kurt said with a roll of his eyes.

"Okay, then. I need you to kiss me, or _you're_ going to die."

"Blaine!" Kurt admonished. "Murder threats are no way to start a new relationsh— _mmph_ " The sentence was effectively ended by Blaine pulling him up by the front of his shirt and kissing him like it was the last kiss they would ever have.

And if it was the last kiss Kurt ever had, he would lie happily in his grave for all of eternity. With no Connor hanging over their heads, no anything to stand in their way, the kiss was fire.

Kurt parted his lips willingly for Blaine, twining his arms around Blaine's waist as the other man wrapped his arms and legs around Kurt's body, and Kurt was certain that there was nowhere else he would rather be for the rest of his life than there in Blaine's grasp.

Blaine's tongue claimed Kurt's mouth without hesitation, its owner very much enjoying the small whines of pleasure slipping from Kurt.

"Oh my god, Blaine," Kurt mumbled with his face still smashed against Blaine's. He braced one hand against the table and pushed Blaine backward slowly until his back hit the table, knocking over both wine glasses in the process and not caring one bit. He allowed Blaine to devour him, happily giving whatever, whenever, and however Blaine wanted to take. His body pressed down into Blaine's, and their hips rocked together in a slow rhythm, causing both men to groan aloud in pleasure. Kurt, unable to stand the layers between them, reached for the buckle on Blaine's belt, moving his kisses down Blaine's neck to suck at the soft skin just above his collarbone.

"Stop," Blaine said breathily. "Stop before we destroy your grandmother's dining table."

Kurt complied, straightening out, but letting Blaine know he wasn't happy about it.

Blaine sat up, not loosening his legs from around Kurt's hips, and smirked. "Don't worry. I know of a place with no antique furniture where we can do," he gave Kurt a brief kiss, "whatever," longer kiss, "we want." He scooted forward so their erections met in a jolt of electricity and took Kurt's bottom lip lightly between his teeth.

" _Ngrhgh_." Kurt might have been embarrassed by his proclivity for indistinguishable noises that night had Blaine's kisses not been so hot they made his eyes roll back in his head. "Take me there. Take me anywhere. I want to be everywhere you are."

 

* * *

 

They lay in bed later that night, Kurt nestled in the crook of Blaine's arm, neither able to stop staring lovingly at his boyfriend.

"You," Blaine mumbled sleepily.

"Me what?"

"You were what was missing before." Blaine's eyes were wide and bright.

Kurt smiled his dazzling smile that took Blaine's breath away; the one reserved solely for when Blaine made him happy. "I've known that for a very long time."

"Since the first time?"

"Since before then."

Blaine hummed in appreciation, trailing his fingers lightly over Kurt's shoulder as he let it sink in.

"This is how it should have been the first time," he thought aloud.

"I know. I can't believe you wasted the last four years not being mine," Kurt joked, feeling silly at how he couldn't wipe the dorky smile from his face.

Blaine sighed happily, pulling Kurt in tighter. "Me either. But let's be honest. I've always been yours." He held out his wrist donning the KH wristband. Kurt lifted his wrist to put his brand new matching BA bracelet next to it. "And I always will be."

"God, I love you, Anderson," Kurt said, rubbing his nose back and forth across Blaine's.

"I love you, too, Hummel."

Kurt flopped back on his pillow, taking Blaine with him, both giggling. It had taken almost four years, but he and Blaine were finally right where they belonged. Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it!
> 
> I know I left it kind of open at the end, soooo... ;)
> 
> I want to say thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, favorited, subscribed, reblogged on tumblr, etc. You make my world go 'round. You blow my mind day in and day out with your kind words, and for that, I will continue writing Klaine fic forever.
> 
> Special thanks once more to BeautifullyBroken23 and GleefulDarrenCrissFan, and to Loverstar for the art, which has been added to chapter 1. 
> 
> I've never written anything as quickly as I wrote this. 30k words in a week. It was meant to be. I can't express how happy I am that you all ejoyed it as much as I did.
> 
> Thank you!


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